People are dumb

I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday. Here's a list of what constitutes a "pediatric emergency" on Christmas day:

• Fever - I had lots of these. Only about 1 in 5 of these children were actually sick.
• Constipation - Again, are people stupid?
• Congestion - Just blow the damn kid's nose.
• "My butt hurts" - This one eneded up being real, but only because the child developed intractable vomiting while waiting to see me. Her butt was fine.
• "Spider bite" - These are almost always real, since in H-town a 'spider bite' is actually an abscess. And I can fix those.
• Broken arm - I can't fix those myself, but I can give your kid the good drugs while the orthopod fixes it.

The first three made up the bulk of my patients, took up the bulk of my time and made me renew my confidence that most people are, truly, stupid.