Thursday, December 13, 2007

Mother, mother...

can you hear me?

Yup, it's that time of year again - time for the annual trip up north to visit my bat shit crazy mother. This visit is going fairly well. What do I mean by well? Let me tell you!

  • She hasn't interrupted my shower. Last year she barged in on my naked white ass to ask if she could use the computer. Why did she think she needed to ask? I might be using it, of course! She knows my mad telekinetic skills were surfing the web from the comfort of the shower stall. So nice of her to ask.
  • No yelling!
  • No discussion of her medication! She's on Forteo, which is used to treat osteoporosis. As you can see via the link, Forteo requires daily subcutaneous injection just like insulin. What you might not have noticed is that the stuff requires refridgeration between 36-46 degrees Fahrenheit... a fact my mother ruminates about ENDLESSLY. When she's traveling, all she can think about is the temperature of her med. Leaning Tower of Pisa? Who cares! The Forteo is 47 degrees! Disaster! If I thought I could get her off of this crap, I would do handsprings of joy.
  • No discussion of 'the Market.' Mom seems to think that by closely watching the stock market and following its every twitch and twiggle, she'll miraculously make more money. Since we pay a financial management company obscene amounts of moolah to manage her moolah, her input is, shall we say, teenie-tiny. She can go on an on about how badly the economy is failing... even when the NYSE is having a good year. Thankfully, right now she's so depressed about the market she won't say anything at all. Hooray for recessions!
  • We've only had the same conversation about five times now. Usually by this point in the trip, i'll be up to 20 or 30. So we're doing well.

I've sucessfully survived more than 24 hours. I've got about 36 more to go... wish me luck, peeps!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hang in there, dearest. Looking forward to your return.