Sunday, February 19, 2006

Universal experiences

It doesn't matter what specialty we're in, all residents share a common experience. My favorite is the following, "That's against policy."

What policy? Where is (insert Shatner-esque pause here) this policy? Can I see (pause) this policy. And yeah, I know, even if the RN can't produce the mysterious policy, she won't do what you ask anyway. Just in case the order does violate the policy.

This is why I end up stealing things to better patient care. There is a policy at the community hospital that no bedside testing can happen anywhere (except the ER). I mean, I can't even dip a urine in the freaking NICU or PICU.

Yeah, so, when I'm senior in the NICU I run down to the ER, steal a bottle of urine dipsticks and carry them around. Need to know if that kid with short gut is malabsorbing and that's why he's fussy and distended? Dip the ostomy output! I just saved the patient a full sepsis workup and serial X-rays. Yay me!

All 'cause my residency has taught me to lie, cheat and steal. Awesome.

And while you're at it, check out They're funny.


Karla said...

you're the kind of doc I want if I get sick. No muss, no fuss. Yeah you!

doctawife said...

Thanks! That's heartwarming!

Anyway, right now I'm stuck writing a very boring journal club... so needless to say I'm doing a lot of web surfing!