Universal experiences

It doesn't matter what specialty we're in, all residents share a common experience. My favorite is the following, "That's against policy."

What policy? Where is (insert Shatner-esque pause here) this policy? Can I see (pause) this policy. And yeah, I know, even if the RN can't produce the mysterious policy, she won't do what you ask anyway. Just in case the order does violate the policy.

This is why I end up stealing things to better patient care. There is a policy at the community hospital that no bedside testing can happen anywhere (except the ER). I mean, I can't even dip a urine in the freaking NICU or PICU.

Yeah, so, when I'm senior in the NICU I run down to the ER, steal a bottle of urine dipsticks and carry them around. Need to know if that kid with short gut is malabsorbing and that's why he's fussy and distended? Dip the ostomy output! I just saved the patient a full sepsis workup and serial X-rays. Yay me!

All 'cause my residency has taught me to lie, cheat and steal. Awesome.

And while you're at it, check out www.pushfluids.com. They're funny.