Thursday, February 16, 2006

Empty Net!

Those of you who know me already know what I'm gonna write about from the title alone. Those who don't, well, if you don't want to hear about the state of my pelvis and hypothalamic-pituitary-ovarian axis, just stop reading now.

I've spent the last third of my life avoiding uterine parasites, i.e. pregnancy. Barriers, hormones and foreign bodies have all played a role... until yesterday. And it feels very bizzarre. I almost feel naked - like I'm not wearing pants or something. (Of note, I had one of those showing-up-for-a-test-naked dreams last night. Related? Nah. Never!)

The OB visit itself was weird. The hubbie and I are sitting there listening to the doc 'prescribe' sex every other day. I don't know what other couples think, but it was kind of a turn off. "Hey honey, we haven't had sex for 36 hours, we MUST have sex in the next twelve hours or I'll miss my next my sperm dose." Blargh. Sperm isn't like an antibiotic, people! The fabulous husband shouldn't be reduced to a sperm donor - he's worth more than that and he's definitely much sexier as a person than as a sperm delivery system.

If we don't have sex every 48 hours, do I have to fill out a missed medication form? Or does he? One of us would if I was a hospitalized patient... I guess I'm glad that I don't bring my work home with me! (Har - bad joke, I know, but hey - I'm a dork.)


Me said...

Oh jeez, that *is* a turn-off... it's not like y'all are having infertility issues where you have to take your basal temp and fuck like rabbits when your FSH starts to spike.

Fuck the OB (not literally, natch!), and just do things as the mood strikes. Really, you don't want it any other way... trust your friend, who speaks from experience...

Karla said...

And I am going the opposite direction, going back on the pill in an effort to relieve the peri-peri-menopause i seem to be experiencing. Maybe it will calm the beast and we can try again in a few months or so. Jeckyll and hyde anyone? AGH!