House

So I love this show. House just rocks. Now, there are some things that are really really wrong with the show.

But it does some things just so freaking right.

The things that the show does right include - well - the fact that it will actually consider the process of decision making. Most shows just let the viewer leap to the
correct diagnosis along with the TV doctor. In real life, doctors make a list like anyone else. Then we check our list twice. And try to figure out what fits and what doesn't. Even better, through the course of the show, the patient - and his or her symptoms - evolve. In medicine, there's an idea called 'watchful waiting'. Basically, we shove the patient in the hospital and wait for him to 'declare himself'. That means we wait for the disease to make itself known; we wait for the patient to evolve. This is a good thing 'cause we don't treat the wrong disease, and the patient is in a safe place, a place where the docs can act in an instant - and fix the actual problem.

(By the way, patients hate watchful waiting. They haven't read all of the warning labels on the meds.)

There are bad things about the show. No 'juniors' sit around in a glass office, no simple differentials (the fancy name for those lists) and no narcotic addicted geniouses rule. And for Pete's sake, the differentials don't take as freaking long to develop as the show represents.

So watch House, and think about lists. But not about time.

I am the Mistress of IKEA

So we're having a party. Hopefully, a really big party with lots of red meat and dry martinis.

But there's a catch - we moved into the new place in March 2005. Why is this a problem? Weeeell, we never really finished moving into the new joint.

Oops.

So now that we're throwin' a really large shindig, we gotta get our asses in gear. Hubby has made a Microsoft Project Gantt chart outlining what we hafta do in order to create a actual 'put together' home before the par-tay. Get this - 6.5 hours per person per weekend day + 3 hours per person per weekday.

Hah!

I'm skeptical. Then again, we really want to throw an excellent Meat and Martini party. And today, we did make our goals.

We woke up early, went to the awesome Ace Mart Restaurant Supply Company and IKEA then assembled not one, but two pieces of IKEA furniture. Meanwhile, hubby slapped a second coat of paint on the bedroom doors and started on the other random doors on the first floor.

Now, the division of labor was natural. I rule at IKEA assembly. I've put together so many damn IKEA items it's not even funny. Seriously - our place is 80+% IKEA. And the stuff that isn't IKEA, well, about half of that we wish we hadn't bought. The rest is from Ace Mart.

I never said we were normal, just that I am the MISTRESS OF IKEA!

I'm baaaack!

And I've already been working. Vacation was great, so of course I had to segue from that to the ER. Aww yeah.

But good came of it. I haven't been enjoying work much these last couple of weeks, but suddenly during my ER shift I realized that I was really having fun.

I was moving and grooving and treating and streeting and man I felt pretty satisfied with my life. So, life plans change. Next year I'll be applynig for a pediatric ER fellowship. So I have to figure out what to do next year.

But it'll all be good. I feel much better about the life plan now - it just feels much more right.

Merry Christmas!

And Chappy Chanukah!

So we've already done our gift exchange, and my husband officially rocks.

As do I.

He gave me the Weekly World News, Zoggles Buddies #1 (two little clay statues with watercolor paints to make the statues less boring and more pretty), a Nutragous bar, stockings ('cause it wouldnt' be Christmas if someone didn't get a pair of socks!) and a wicked cool make up bag. Oh yeah, he also got me awesome earings from James Avery.

He got two cans of Planters Deluxe mixed nuts (two for one, baby!), the Dymo label buddy, martini shaped plates, Ice Breakers mints and gum (the combo pack) and a Leatherman... oh yeah, he got a Global santoku knife. He's been lusting after santoku knives for years, but we've never gotten around to buying one. Of course, as soon as I get one for his gift, he starts getting more proactive about buying one for himself. So then I have to start dreaming up diversions every time we go into a kitchen supply store.

Luckily, I'm a sneaky bitch. Christmas was saved.

Merry Christmas, ya'll. I hope yours is going as well as mine.

In other news, Karla's quote generator gave me this:

We are strongly urging parents to write their state's machete. If a child were to see this show's irresponsible scenes of almonds and how they walk away from themselves with envelopes, they may think that they too are able to advertise a hamper!

How cool is that?

Small freakin world

Five plus years ago, my husband and I got married. We went on a marvelous honeymoon in Napa and had big fun with wine. Along the way, we also got interested in visiting distilleries.

Which is how we found Charbay.

You had to make an appointment to come up and see the facility, then brave a rather tortuous mountain road. At the end of the road lay a small, barnlike structure that, on initial viewing, was completely unimpressive.

Then we met Marko, and everything changed.

He told us of the twelve generations of distillers that came before him. He told us of his father who made a fabulous dessert wine using fortified Chardonnay - and how he was evolving as the thirteenth generation distiller.

At the time, Charbay was a small operation. He took fruit essence - Key Lime, Meyer Lemon, Blood Orange and Ruby Red Grapefruit - and infused small batch Midwestern vodka with the flavors.

Ohmigod.

After having the Charbay version of orange vodka, Stoli Orange tastes like Tang. Marko took the essence of each fruit and made it into an alcoholic treat that was out of this world.

Now you ask, how does this story have anything to do with the title of this post?

We met Marko's national sales rep tonight. (She says he's like an older brother to her - how cool!) At Specs (a local liquor and wine store). We saw that some woman was giving out free samples of our favorite vodka ever and wandered over. She started giving us the standard spiel, but we cut her off saying that we knew 'cause we'd already visited the distillery.

Suddenly, we're one of the cool people.

We stood around with Moxy shooting the shit for five minutes... and invited her to our upcoming Meat and Martini party (invites aren't out yet).

She said she'd come if she was in town. How cool is that?

Hopefully she'd bring samples.

Aww yeah...

PS Sorry for the run on sentence.

Back to the Dreaded Community Hospital

Actually I've been working here all December, but it didn't start to really irritate me until yesterday. I returned to Houston from visiting my cutie-patootie nephew in Dallas to work a 8p-8a overnight shift. Not a great way to start, but I got a nice snooze in the car.

The shift started fine. I like the people I was working with, and their medicine isn't crazy. But then the 21 years of constipation began for Ron, and Berkley and I got reminded why - generally speaking - humans are scum.

Between the two of us, we took care of two young women barely into their teens who had been raped by some pissant of a man. One of the girls attacked this asshole as he raped her friend and they both escaped.

And you know what? One of the girls' mothers didn't show up for three hours 'cause she was 'busy'. What the fuck? No wonder this girl was wandering around the streets of Houston - and not the best part of Houston at that - at 11pm.

But anyway, that kind of stuff is somewhat out of the ordinary, at least for the pediatric side of this hospital. The 21 years of constipation, however, aren't.

Question - if you have had abdominal pain (due to constipation that you already know about) for ten years, why come to my ER at 3am? On a Sunday night? What's, say, five more hours? You know, when you can visit your regular doctor? And if you had two children - one with seven years of constipation, one with four years of constipation - would you come to the ER at 5:30 am?

If it's my kid the answer is hell no! The best part was none of the patients wanted the one thing that would make their pain go away, at least until the next build-up of stool. So they all left in as much pain as when they showed up. Great use of resources.

Here's another one for you:

If my child has a temper tantrum, do I
a) slap him upside the head
b) take away his TV privledges
c) put him in time out (provided he is over three years old with one minute of time out per year of age)
d) call 911?

That's right - the answer is d! (A true story - someone really did call 911 for a temper tantrum. Sheesh.)

Well, I gotta go. I've got a 15 year old to see with... abdominal pain!

Gone amuck

First of all, how do you spell "a-muck"? Do you spell it phonetically or like the title or like in the first sentance?

Secondly, I LOVE cheesy movies. I love Underworld, Constantine, Sin City, Kill Bill.

I am a movie whore, and I'm proud of it.

I own a copy of Next of Kin.

Take that!

Today I bought three flicks - the Sin City special edition (new expanded scenes!), Underworld and Constantine. A huge three for one indulgence for our budget, but I just couldn't resist. And I bought my man a Leatherman.

A good gift day... even if most of the gifts were for ME!

Perils of pediatrics

Being a pediatrician is great. I love the kiddos, especially the healthy ones. Squealing and giggling and falling off of things - life is just good for (most) kids.

But then there's the fact that I get exposed to every damn infection every damn kid in Houston gets. Which means, right now, I have the gastro. Also known as gastroenteritis, also known as AGE, also known as a stomach bug.

So I'm stuck on the couch getting up every 5-15 minutes to "evacuate" and feeling sorry for myself.

At least Kids in the Hall in on the telly. Life could definitely be worse.

To the man in the van...

Yes you. The jackass in the white van with handicap plates...

Please, get off the valium. The accelerator is on the right and the speed limit really is 35 MPH.

And what the fuck is up with your spare tire? You have a hubcap on your spare tire. Why? For the love of all that's good and holy, WHY? And why does it have to look like a spare prop from Krull?

Good gracious, man. Get a life.

Totally freaking confused

So one of our cats is bulemic. Give him a meal that's too large and he'll puke it up. Simple, right?

What am I to think when he pukes up a large fistful of undigested food hours after his last meal? I mean, I didn't leave the other cat's food open (the Tuperware lid is firmly closed and the thing is on the bathroom counter for Christ's sake!) and I haven't given his overweight ass any snacks!

I'm totally fucking confused.

Help.

My gut

My gut is a thing of beauty and wonder. And, oh boy, is it on a rampage.

You see, I made beans from scratch the other night. Oh, beans beans good for your heart, the more you eat them... Now, the problem with beans from scratch is that occationally one or two black beauties don't quite get cooked all the way done.

And you know what that means!

Farts waiting to happen. And not just any fart - wicked cumin-soaked black bean farts.

Totally toxic.

But wait, there's more!

Last night we partied hardy at the white elephant party with a mini-keg of Spaten. So, so good that beer. Light, hoppy yet slightly sweet with none of the sharpness that so plagues Heinicken. But lo, that Spaten produces a uniquely foul brand of barley farts.

And if you don't know what barley farts are, count your blessings. But man, they are rank.

Now imagine beany goodness farts mixed with Spaten barley farts.

Yes, we have stunk ourselves out of our own house... and out of the house where we slept after the party. (Sorry Andy!)

So yeah, we'll keep the fans on around here a little longer. And avoid the beany leftovers in the fridge.

The joy of being almost 30

Now, most of my friends are older than I am, so I don't expect much in the way of sympathy.

But come on, turning 29 is fairly traumatic. I'm now only one year away from being 30! Ack! Presumably, actually turning 30 would be easier - 'cause at least then it would be over. I think that it is the anticipation of officially leaving my 20's that is getting to me. When I leave my 20's, that means I'm supposed to have things figured out and have a plan.

Yikes!

***

In other news, Dave over at blogography has finally lost his ever-loving mind. I expect he'll recover, but only after inventing a Mega-Super-Death-Ray and firing it at all McDonald's employees.

I don't ever want to be the subject of that man's ire. He's vicious... but in a good way.

(We love you Dave!)

I stole this meme from Dave

1. Of all the bands/artists in your cd/record collection, which one do you own the most albums by? Nine Inch Nails. Up until very recently, I was completely compulsive about collecting each "halo" - Trent's cutesy term for anything musical he publishes.
2. What was the last song you listened to? My aunt singing various soul tunes.
3. What’s in your record/cd player right now? I don't use my cd player anymore... but my Shuffle has about 1 gig of random stuff - Franz Ferdinand, NIN, U2, Me First and the Gimmee Gimmees.
4. What song would you say sums you up? Liz Phair's Extraordinary - the line 'average everyday sane pyscho Supergoddess' seems to fit.
5. What’s your favorite local band? Molly and the Ringwalds, an awesome 80's cover band.
6. What was the last show you attended? Some random band on Beale Street in Memphis last night. No idea who they were, but they had pretty good Hendrix covers...
7. What was the greatest show you’ve ever been to? Nine Inch Nail's downward spiral tour in February 1995. Close seconds - Hometown Throwdown by the Bosstones in 2001 and U2 Elevation tour just last month.
8. What’s the worst band you’ve ever seen in concert? Collective Soul. So freaking bad I'm astonished they ever got signed.
9. What band do you love musically but hate the members of? Slim Shady. Such a prick, but so talented. Oh well.
10. What show are you looking forward to? Well, I don't have anything planned. We had our excellent concert month last month - U2 and NIN about 10 days apart! Yipee!
11. What is your favorite band shirt? An old NIN shirt from the 1995 tour. It is the only shirt I've ever actually patched. Usually I am so not into the sewing...
12. What musician would you like to hang out with for a day? Bono or Moby.
13. What musician would you like to be in love with for a day? Bono. Or Trent Reznor if I thought he wasn't probably infected with every STD known to man.
14. Metal question-Jeans and Leather vs. Cracker Jack clothes? Jeans.
15. Sabbath or solo Ozzy? Sabbath.
16. Commodores or solo Lionel Ritchie? If I have to answer this, Commadores. But I hate them both.
17. Punk rock, hip hop or heavy metal? Punk! Now fuck off!
18. Doesn’t Primus suck? Of course Primus Sucks; otherwise the end of days would come.
19. Name 4 flawless albums: NIN, downward spiral. NIN, broken (altho it is an EP, so only counts for half). Nirvana, Nevermind. Guns and Roses, Appetite for Destruction.
20. Did you know that filling out this survey makes you a music geek? Yes, I figured that.
21. What was the greatest decade for music? 1995 - 2005.
22. How many music-related videos/dvds do you own? Two.
23. Do you like Journey? Only when really really really really drunk.
24. Don’t try to pretend you don’t! Yeah, painful...
25. What is your favorite movie soundtrack? The Crow.
26. What was your last musical “phase” before you wisened up? Metal. Really, people screaming into a microphone only sounds new and invigorating while teen.
27. What’s the crappiest CD/record/etc. you’ve ever bought? Wham! Yes, I dug that cute George Michael. So sad that he's gay.
28. Do you prefer vinyl or CDs? CD's or iPod. I still like having the CD around 'cause I dig that info jacket. There's cool stuff in there, man!

Happy Turkey Day!

I love Thanksgiving. It is definitely my favorite holiday - you get all of your people together, cook some fabulous food and you don't need to buy anyone a gift. All the good parts about getting together with relatives without the stress of shopping and wrapping etc. etc.


This year hubbie and I are in Memphis with my Cool Aunt. I have a theory that in every extended family there is always the just sorta 'okay' aunt or uncle and then the Cool Aunt/Uncle. Aunt M is definitely the cool one on my mother's side. And I swear to God, everyone else in Memphis thinks she's cool too. For example, she has three Thanksgiving dinners to attend today - one 'public' affair at a very wealthy friend's house, one 'private' affair with the same folks and then her own Turkey Day with family. Then, looking ahead at the coming weeks, she has at least one social event per day most days of the week.

Yikes! I think the social life of Memphis might grind to a halt if she ever left...

But we all love her. I can't wait until she gets back from her 'private' gathering and helps me start the turkey.

Mmm... turkey!

Be good, ya'll and have a Happy Turkey Day.

Quiz-tastic

Okay, so I'm obviously OD'ing on the quiz thing, but hey, when you score as the 'perfect girlfriend' ya gotta brag!


You are a Perfect Girlfriend! Not too shy, but not
to forward! You are just the right amount! Any
guy would be lucky to find a girl like you to
wrap around their arm.
Quote: To love and be loved is to feel the sun from
both sides. David Viscott


What Kind of GIRLFRIEND are YOU? (with pics)
brought to you by Quizilla

JTHM

I miss this comic something fierce. In loving memory...


You're Devi...very cool. You are probably the
sanest insane person out there. You are doomed
to never find another soul you can connect
with. Luckily enough, the only thing you really
care about is painting. If you don't
paint...you go mad. GO YOU!

Famous quote: "I don't remember being
retarded."


What "Johnny the Homicidal Maniac" Character Do You Most Resemble?
brought to you by Quizilla

Awesome freakin' weekend

Or, how I learned to love crazy Cubans.

Anyway, Friday night was a gas. My hermit friend (referenced in an earlier post) threw another juggernaut of a party. This time, there weren't any homosexual singing surgery interns, but there were Jello shots. And it was good. Oh yes, it was good.

It was made even better because before the pah-tay we went to see Molly and the Ringwalds. They are an awesome 80's cover band - everything from Oh Micky to GnR to Black Sabbath to Depeche Mode. Aww yeah! So, so good.

Then there was Saturday. Saturday was filled with shopping for one of my favorite things ever. Kitchen supplies. We went to Ace Mart Restaurant supply, Sur la Table and Penzi's Spices. We got spatulas, spice containers, spices, roasting pans, wine glasses... so, so good.

And it wasn't over yet. Next was... billiards! And beer! And friends! Yippee!

Then, the coup de grace, Harry Potter! Again, so, so good. Right after the movie, there was a brief interruption in the goodness when our crazy Cuban friend lost his car keys, but because it was such a good damned weekend, we found them without too much panic.

Today was also super good - I got new fish! Yay fish! And the crazy Cuban kept me from buying some less than ideal Frontosa. Instead I got some beautiful haps and some mbosa. My 55 gallon aquarium is officially purdy now. And tonight I'm baking home-made bread. I'm not even cheating and using a bread machine - I'm doing it all on my own.

If the rest of my vacation goes like this, I'm in fat city.

Harry Potter

I was sitting in the theater the other day, watching previews, and that tinkling HP theme music started. Now, by this point I had seen the short teaser previews already. You know, the ones that just have faces appearing out of mist with ominous music. So I thought I would just be seeing that crap again.

Oh boy, was I wrong.

This was a long, dark, ominus teaser. Scary music, plot hints, awesome visuals. I was pretty much drooling by the end of the 2 minute spot. Now, I didn't much like Goblet of Fire when I first read it. I had gotten used to the short books - I liked the punchy, fast style. Then J.K. produces this book with digressions, side plots and (what I thought was) way too much angst.

Since then, I guess I've gotten used to the 'big' books. But I gotta say, I look forward to the edited version of the book. Expansion of character development is good... only to a point.

So I have tickets to the Saturday 8pm showing. Before the show, I'm gonna drink beer and play pool. I just can't freaking wait. Aww, yeah!

Fun with Quizzes!

This is a direct steal from karla. (Hi!) But I love this quiz, and I love the result. Why? 'Cause it's true - I'm a died in the wool aetheist. I have been for a while. After I do this, I gotta go see if I'm evil...

You scored as atheism. atheism 83% Buddhism 75% Satanism 71% Paganism 63% agnosticism 58% Judaism 54% Islam 54% Christianity 29% Hinduism 29% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

The power of the Palm

So I recently discovered eBooks.

They're freaking great. I no longer need to lug a clunky old paperback (or wrose yet, hardback) around with me. Now I can simply pull my Palm out of my pocket and start reading. So, so nice. No headaches. No eye sore. Nothing - just the fiction of my choice.

I gotta tell ya, people, if ya have a relatively new palm, download Adobe for the PalmOS and take it from there. And yes, I know I know, the actual authentication process for opening a book for the first time is a pain, but dude, it's worth it!

***

In other news, I'm still deeply depressed that the White Sox ran over the Astros like a train over a penny. But hey, there's always next year.