LeMons!

I'm driving in the next LeMons race in Houston! I'll be in the TetanusNeon, although the auto work I've been doing is on the sister car that-has-no-name. It too is a Neon - one year younger and three trim levels nicer. With all of the new drivers (including me), we needed a second car. We've divided the teams between the Tortoises and the Hares. I'm a tortoise. This split also nicely divides the short from the tall, which will be convenient during driver changes.

Very exciting. Check out www.tetanusneon.com for updates!

It's officially winter

I live in Houston, where it never seems to drop below 40F. So how would I know it's winter?

Easy kiddos - the hospital census! Right now is a truly bad time to be a sick child. The hospital is bursting at the seams. Half of the ER is taken up by children waiting on inpatient beds. Let me tell ya folks, that makes for some cranky people. Parents are cranky 'cause the rooms are small and only have a bed for the child. Children are cranky 'cause they're bored out of their ever-lovin' minds. Nurses are irritated 'cause the parents keep asking them for stuff. Doctors are cheesed for several reasons: 1) No ER doc actually wants anything to do with the floors. That's why they work in the ER. So essentially taking care of 'floor patients' in the ER bugs them. 2) The children waiting on floor beds occupy space that should be devoted to acute ER care. The more floor patients stuck in the ER, the more patients stuck in ER waiting. 3) Parents seem to think that MDs control bed availability. They're right - floor MDs control bed availability. Not the schmucks in the ER. So don't complain to ER nurses or docs. They (we) just start not to care after the fourth of fifth complaint.

Let me tell ya, sometimes at work I just wish Old Man Winter would sod off.

Muppets... that curse!

Check out a Jim Henson product I just came across - Puppet Up! Uncensored. It's improv, like Whose Line but with puppets. Nasty foul mouthed raunchy puppets. It made me giggle like a little girl on nitrous.

Trust me, I'm a doctor

And ya know what? I might have done this before.

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not infallible. Not even close. But generally, I don't make kids to unpleasant things just for the hell of it. I get my shits and giggles in other ways - like torturing small cats and beating the homeless. So if I want to shove a large tube down your child's nostril and into his belly, there's probably a reason.

I've decided that the whole concept of informed consent is bogus. How can I explain in 5 minutes what it took me 3 years to learn... to parents that didn't finish high school? I mean, really? Really? So I try, but it's all bullshit. I'll explain "risks" to parents, but even when I talk myself blue, they don't get it. These horrible things could happen to YOUR child. But guess, what? I'm kinda glad no one ever gets it. 'Cause then I get consent and I can do what I think is right for the kid.

The really annoying thing: the parents don't object to the riskier shit, but go crazy when I want to do something simple. Sedation carrying the risk of respiratory depression? Sure! NGT*? Hell no! Grr...

* NGT = nasogastric tube, which is a tube running down the nose and into the stomach. NGT are commonly placed to decompress the stomach or to introduce medication to the stomach that the patient is refusing, like charcoal of GoLytely. NGT are low risk when placed by someone well trained, uncomfortable but not painful, and TOTALLY useful.

Absence

I've been absent for quite some time. Excuses are many, but legit reasons are few. Basically, this blog suffered from a combination of laziness and depression.

So... so.

I've got the biggest test of my life approaching on Monday the 27th. All I do, except sleep, eat, poop and fuck, is study. Granted, if hubby had his way the fucking portion of the program would last for hours every day. The fucking would also get in the way of his own projects - most notably the tetanus neon. My husband, racerman. So sexy!

Blogging from Steamboat!

So my husband scheduled a fishing trip. This is a good thing, since the last time he tried to go fishing, bad things happened. Unfortunately, the trip ened up being on one of the rare weekends I have off.

So I went skiing. Hah! Take that!

But really, I wanted him to fish, but I didn't want to be left floating around in Houston. So, since I had 4 days left on my Steamboat lift pass, I found a way up here to SKI!!! The skiing forcast, however, didn't look too exceptional; only a 30% chance of fresh snow, (relatively) high temperatures... nothing special. But there was snow last night, snow today, and there will probably be snow tomorrow.

Now my worry isn't so much about bad skiing, but bad driving over the pass. Such is life!

Funniest clip ever

A Love Letter to the Dumb Drunk Guy

Dear Mr. Drunk Guy-

There are many things I love about you: your cheerful exuberance, your golden shiny bling and your happy go lucky lack of coordination. I also admire your understanding of acceleration, momentum and physics. Most memorable is your ability to know that if you step out in front of my moving vehicle, I'll have just barely enough time to stop before running your black ass over.

I love you way you fall over the tono cover of my convertable, eager to cuss me out. I love the way your friends yell at me. I love the way you totally ignored my screams as I yelled at you to get the fuck out of the way of the moving car!

Yargh.