iTunes meme

Yes, yes, this is a tired meme. No, I don't care. Take that!

How many total songs?

3398 items, 9.4 days. I say 'items' because I have a lot of audiobooks, continuing-medical-education stuff and podcasts. I listen to all of this stuff and I rarely listen to music in the car anymore. Without the spoken word component, my iPod isn't worth mentioning.

Sort by song title - first and last...
a. Dodo - b. Lurker by Genesis and 500 by Lush.

Sort by time - shortest and longest...
(Four seconds of noise) by Hot Hot Heat (a song four seconds long - how appropriate!) and Trigger for Happiness by Machines of Loving Grace at 30min 12sec. Just FYI - the second shortest song on my list is thirty minutes and four seconds long. Apparently I attract long songs.

Sort by Album - first and last...
Abacab by Genesis and %$&@^ by KMFDM

Sort by Artist - first and last...
A-ha, then Young MC. Quality, people, quality.

Top five played songs...
You Know My Name by Chris Cornell, Mad World by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules, Up to the Roof by the Blue Man Group, Calling You by Blue October, and All My Life by the Foo Fighters.

Find the following words. How many songs show up?
Sex: 10, Death: 9, Love: 130, You: 347, Home: 19, Boy: 57, Girl: 38.

First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle...
Three Days by Jane's Addiction, Hail to the Bop by Meat Beat Manifesto, Jambi by Tool, Emeritus Sleepus by Green Day, Truth is Out of Style by MC 900 Foot Jesus.

The Community Hospital Strikes Again!

My shift started at midnight. As I'm walking toward the copy machine to photocopy some kid's insurance card (yes, I know, not my job, but hey, when you want something done...) I pass by traige and notice a pale, limp, bluish-grey infant breathing fast and grunting.

Oh ho, say I. What's this?

The lovely triage nurse replies that the patient had just checked in, but nothing else was known. We share a look. That look held all the knowledge and experience of all our previous shifts together. On a higher plane, we commune with the universe and come to a mutual, unspoken and instantaneous agreement.

Smoothly, we both move to the shock room. She sets up the pulse ox, I reach for oxygen. Our little baby is only getting 85% of the oxygen he needs. Orders are written. Without much ado, we get the IV. Wonderous. Fluids start, labs are sent. For once, everything flows like a river flows toward the ocean, smoothly and easily.

We decide to intubate. Medications appear, respiratory techs arrive. My resident easily slides the tube into the trachea. Glorious, glorious.

I have never had a code go so smoothly here at the Tub. I wonder how I'll be made to pay.

Productivity

Not gonna be an exciting blog post, but I just gotta scratch my own back. By the time I go to sleep, I will have:

• Created the menu for Thursday. (Sorry for not consulting you, hubbie! Love you!)
  
• Done most of my shopping for my Turkey Day Food Fest and Friday's Green Bean Extravaganza.
  
• Cleaned out my work e-mail account. I took that biatch down from 8 pages of largely unread email and spam to two pages of work-only, non-spam, fully-read content. Hah!
• Worked an 8 hour shift.
• Re-read at least some of the articles associated with my research project.
• Had dinner with friends.

Take that, procrastination. My therapist would be proud...

Best Roadtrip Bathroom Award

I hereby nominate Buc-ee's for the Best Roadtrip Bathroom ever. What makes this pot spot so great? Let me list the ways:

• The bathroom are so clean I'd eat off the floor for $5.
• Location doesn't matter - each Buc-ee's is just as nice as the last.
• Each stall has a toilet seat sanitizer dispenser screwed to the wall. Just a little of this gel based substance and some toilet paper, and your ass will never come in contact with nasty poo-based germs. Brilliant!
• I've never had to ask the lady in the next stall for more toilet paper. Buc-ee's either has really diligent staff or they've discovered the fountain of TP. I don't know which is true and I don't care.
• The automatic paper towel dispensers actually give a usable amount of toweling. No going back for a second piece - who woudda thought?

Even though I just said that consistency is one of the key's to Buc-ee's success, I do have a favorite location. #17 in Luling is awesome. Not only are the bathrooms huge, the rest of the store is a destination in itself. You can get beef jerky, made-as -you-wait deli sandwiches, Texas-style home decor, your usual junk food, basic car repair supplies, large charcoal grills, hunting blinds and deer corn. And no, I'm not kidding about the last three offerings. Anyone on IH-10 between Houston and San Antonio must stop here. It's seriously worth it.

Pseudoseizures

Now people, this diagnosis is a pain in the ass. Pseudoseizures are events that look like seizures to non-medicos. But, guess what, they aren't actually seizures. The kids fake it. They might night mean to fake it - they're acting out against intolerable stress - but basically they're hamming it up.

Not a popular diagnosis. Picture this converstation:

Me - The EEG was negative; no seizures were seen. Your child had three events during the EEG. Therefore, given the normal EEG, your child is having psuedoseizures.

Parent - Does that mean she's doing this herself?

Me - Yes. She isn't doing it deliberately, but the jerking movements she makes are essentially voluntary.

Parent - ^%$#&^%( *&(&^$^%$#^%%(*&^*&% $&%^$# %$#EWS FGBVFGVB OIU^T*&^%# @$#EWQ@RE#$^%

Yeah. It goes just about that well.

It just sucks. If someone has abnormal, seizure-like movements during the EEG, but still has a negative EEG... seizure disorder has been ruled out. Period. One cannot seize without abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Period.

And teenagers are bad at faking. For whatever reason, kids with pseudoseizures always sort of twiddle their fingers during the 'attacks'. Let me tell ya, people seizing DON'T waggle their fingers in the air. Nor can they walk. But really, it's the finger twitching that gets me. Where do they get this stuff?