doctawife

LeMons!

2008-12-04T22:52:00.003-06:00

I'm driving in the next LeMons race in Houston! I'll be in the TetanusNeon, although the auto work I've been doing is on the sister car that-has-no-name. It too is a Neon - one year younger and three trim levels nicer. With all of the new drivers (including me), we needed a second car. We've divided the teams between the Tortoises and the Hares. I'm a tortoise. This split also nicely divides the short from the tall, which will be convenient during driver changes.

Very exciting. Check out www.tetanusneon.com for updates!

It's officially winter

2008-10-24T00:32:00.002-05:00

I live in Houston, where it never seems to drop below 40F. So how would I know it's winter?

Easy kiddos - the hospital census! Right now is a truly bad time to be a sick child. The hospital is bursting at the seams. Half of the ER is taken up by children waiting on inpatient beds. Let me tell ya folks, that makes for some cranky people. Parents are cranky 'cause the rooms are small and only have a bed for the child. Children are cranky 'cause they're bored out of their ever-lovin' minds. Nurses are irritated 'cause the parents keep asking them for stuff. Doctors are cheesed for several reasons: 1) No ER doc actually wants anything to do with the floors. That's why they work in the ER. So essentially taking care of 'floor patients' in the ER bugs them. 2) The children waiting on floor beds occupy space that should be devoted to acute ER care. The more floor patients stuck in the ER, the more patients stuck in ER waiting. 3) Parents seem to think that MDs control bed availability. They're right - floor MDs control bed availability. Not the schmucks in the ER. So don't complain to ER nurses or docs. They (we) just start not to care after the fourth of fifth complaint.

Let me tell ya, sometimes at work I just wish Old Man Winter would sod off.

Muppets... that curse!

2008-10-23T01:24:00.003-05:00

Check out a Jim Henson product I just came across - Puppet Up! Uncensored. It's improv, like Whose Line but with puppets. Nasty foul mouthed raunchy puppets. It made me giggle like a little girl on nitrous.

Trust me, I'm a doctor

2008-10-22T00:32:00.003-05:00

And ya know what? I might have done this before.

Don't get me wrong, I'm certainly not infallible. Not even close. But generally, I don't make kids to unpleasant things just for the hell of it. I get my shits and giggles in other ways - like torturing small cats and beating the homeless. So if I want to shove a large tube down your child's nostril and into his belly, there's probably a reason.

I've decided that the whole concept of informed consent is bogus. How can I explain in 5 minutes what it took me 3 years to learn... to parents that didn't finish high school? I mean, really? Really? So I try, but it's all bullshit. I'll explain "risks" to parents, but even when I talk myself blue, they don't get it. These horrible things could happen to YOUR child. But guess, what? I'm kinda glad no one ever gets it. 'Cause then I get consent and I can do what I think is right for the kid.

The really annoying thing: the parents don't object to the riskier shit, but go crazy when I want to do something simple. Sedation carrying the risk of respiratory depression? Sure! NGT*? Hell no! Grr...

* NGT = nasogastric tube, which is a tube running down the nose and into the stomach. NGT are commonly placed to decompress the stomach or to introduce medication to the stomach that the patient is refusing, like charcoal of GoLytely. NGT are low risk when placed by someone well trained, uncomfortable but not painful, and TOTALLY useful.

Absence

2008-10-19T00:34:00.002-05:00

I've been absent for quite some time. Excuses are many, but legit reasons are few. Basically, this blog suffered from a combination of laziness and depression.

So... so.

I've got the biggest test of my life approaching on Monday the 27th. All I do, except sleep, eat, poop and fuck, is study. Granted, if hubby had his way the fucking portion of the program would last for hours every day. The fucking would also get in the way of his own projects - most notably the tetanus neon. My husband, racerman. So sexy!

Blogging from Steamboat!

2008-02-17T23:29:00.003-06:00

So my husband scheduled a fishing trip. This is a good thing, since the last time he tried to go fishing, bad things happened. Unfortunately, the trip ened up being on one of the rare weekends I have off.

So I went skiing. Hah! Take that!

But really, I wanted him to fish, but I didn't want to be left floating around in Houston. So, since I had 4 days left on my Steamboat lift pass, I found a way up here to SKI!!! The skiing forcast, however, didn't look too exceptional; only a 30% chance of fresh snow, (relatively) high temperatures... nothing special. But there was snow last night, snow today, and there will probably be snow tomorrow.

Now my worry isn't so much about bad skiing, but bad driving over the pass. Such is life!

Funniest clip ever

2008-02-10T03:29:00.000-06:00

A Love Letter to the Dumb Drunk Guy

2008-02-10T02:52:00.000-06:00

Dear Mr. Drunk Guy-

There are many things I love about you: your cheerful exuberance, your golden shiny bling and your happy go lucky lack of coordination. I also admire your understanding of acceleration, momentum and physics. Most memorable is your ability to know that if you step out in front of my moving vehicle, I'll have just barely enough time to stop before running your black ass over.

I love you way you fall over the tono cover of my convertable, eager to cuss me out. I love the way your friends yell at me. I love the way you totally ignored my screams as I yelled at you to get the fuck out of the way of the moving car!

Yargh.

The Toe Nail Striketh

2008-02-07T11:03:00.001-06:00

The day I've been waiting for has finally arrived: my black toenail nastiness has finally separated from my toe. I took my sock off after working overnight and realized I had a 5mm gap between my lovely painted toenail and my nailbed. So, being the masochistic wench that I am, I pulled on the separated nail.

And it popped right off.

No pain. No wiggling. Just off.

Underneath was an ethereally pink, soft, new neo-nail. It doesn't look like a regular toenail. Yet. It shows signs of true naildom: it's firmer than the surrounding skin, obviously made of keratin, and ingrown, just like the last one.

So there it is folks. By reading my blog the reader can now know how long a nail needs to go from black toe to new nail. Hallejulah!

The Kennedys serve stale danishes

2008-01-31T22:23:00.000-06:00

At least according to the Daily Show.

And how pissed am I at the new Cloverfield ads? Hugely. I've wanted to see this movie since the first trailers 9 months ago. The trailers were great; I had no idea if a huge swarm of alien bugs had invaded Manhattan or if the film depicted a super-stealthy remake of Godzilla. I loved the idea of a movie about the random folks caught up in a summer action movie plot. What would I have done if, during a roof top BBQ, I saw Godzilla stomping around? Besides freak, that is. I guess I would grab my bike, as much water as I could carry, and hope my husband was hot on my heels.

And the cats? F*ck them, they'll probably do better than I would! Crafty, demonic critters that they are...

Anyway, the new ads imply that a Godzilla like creature has invaded NYC. TMI! I liked the uncertainty of the first ads, and I wish the ad execs had never changed their strategy towards full disclosure. Dunderheads.

Thwarted at every turn

2008-01-30T16:25:00.000-06:00

Today, I wanted to be super-duper productive. This was not to be. Here was the plan:
- wake up at 9a.
- get to Audi dealership and have our radio reset out of safety mode*
- go to therapy at noon.
- eat.
- pick up accumulated vacation mail from the USPS.
- apply for passport.
- shop for books.

What happened?

- woke up at 1030a.
- therapy was canceled... but I didn't know that since my phone has been discharged for 48 hours (whoops!)
- the passport office is only open until 1p. I showed up at 2:30, just 'cause I'm a genius. And because I'd cleverly hidden my passport in my old purse, instead of in the desk drawer where it's supposed to be. But I did get purdy passport photos!
- the Audi dealership didn't have a mechanic available to reset the radio. I had to make an appointment for 9a Friday. Suckitude.
- food didn't happen until 330p.
- too lazy for the bookstore.
- mail pick up occurred.

Basically, I feel like I've been chasing my tail all day like a particularly dumb golden retriever.
On the up side, I did get mail and fantastic shots for my next passport. On the down side, I will actually have to stand in line for passport renewal. Undamaged, less than 15 year old passport renewal apps can go through the mail. Unfortunately, mine has been in my back pocket, sweat upon, dunked in the ocean and just generally abused into such dilapidation that I'm sure the Department of State (that's who passport checks get addressed to, not the 'State Department' FYI) would call it 'damaged'. So I have to talk to a human. Argh!

What the heck is up with Blogger?

2008-01-29T21:12:00.001-06:00

So I logged into Blogger today and the interface is all messed up. It looks like a bad website from Netscape 2.0.

Interface aside, it's time to get back to the business of daily posting. The other night Harry (of messed up shoulder fame) was brave enough to bring his new girlfriend 'round for dinner the other night. This is the first time she's been around the Boyz and I since they met at a bar. Granted, we were with Harry when he met her and none of us thought that their bar-tastic near-hook up would lead anywhere, but that just shows you what we know. I remember rather liking her during that first encounter... but I was drinking and I'm friendly that way.

During the dinner the other night, I still liked her... and I was sober. She's younger. She's a professional dancer. But she's smart and she's not "on the pole." Between yoga and real, honest to God dancing gigs she makes a decent living. How about that? And she went to a women's college, so that's another factor in her favor.

I hope Harry keeps her, at least for a while. I think she's good people.

Steamboat rules

2008-01-28T22:01:00.000-06:00

And so do my friends. But first, let me address a reader concern: The Injury Report.

The worst injury award goes to Harry. He busted the hell out of his shoulder. I think he's torn his rotator cuff and needs pretty extensive physical therapy. He heard it 'pop' twice and I found some point tenderness over a muscular insertion point. Oops.

The award for the most satisfying fall goes to Tim. The dude is a skiing and teaching God, but yet skiing with me was challenging enough to push him into actually losing a ski. Yes! I felt like a mountain Goddess... for about two seconds until I too ate shit.

The award for the injury with the most impact on my personal life goes to hubbie. He lashed his neck something fierce on one of his last runs, and he's still in pain two days later. Guess I should schedule a message for the man.

I, however, win the award for the grossest injury. Ski boots need to be snug to perform correctly. So my boots are size 7. My shoe size is nine. Can you sense the problem? Anyway, I ended up with a litany of podiatric problems:

bleeding blisters on my shins bilaterally
ankle blisters (no blood though, very wimpy)
cracked nails

But the best foot injury of all was (is) definitely my left great toe. Somehow the pressure on my boot caused a whopping subungual hematoma, aka blood blister. It involved the whole nail, but oddly enough was only painful of ski day #2. Then it just kinda went numb. Is that bad? Today, two days after my last ski day, the hematoma finally popped. I've been oozing nasty bloody serum-like stuff on my sock all day. Yum yum yum! But my nail is no longer blue and I can see the pink of my nailbed again. So that's good.

***Note: While looking for images for subungual hematomas, I found this really cool article on skiers toe. That's what I have baby... and I should have used a drill bit days ago. I was waiting until I got back to the ER and could use a professional grade cautery tool. Oh well.

2008-01-17T22:40:00.000-06:00

I saw this on I can has cheezburger. So good.

Growing up

2008-01-17T21:26:00.000-06:00

Yes, I know, I'm a doctor. And yes, I'm even done with residency. So that should mean I'm all growed up, right?

Problem: I don't feel grown up.

I did, however, move much closer to grown-up status the other day. I bought a planner. I used to use one of these things back in college to keep my classes and papers straight. I got out of the habit in residency, 'cause I had no control over my schedule whatsoever. I just showed up in the morning and went where I was pointed. No thinking necessary.

Now I have a crazy schedule involving night shifts, meetings and research demands... not to mention a husband and social life. I was so disorganized Prez Bush's brain looked tidy in comparison. So I finally caved and got a good old fashioned paper planner.

And I feel pretty good about it. :)

Nursing woes

2008-01-15T19:44:00.001-06:00

I wish my nurses today would just freaking work together. We had a triage nurse basically refuse to escort (or find someone to escort) the patient from triage to the OBS unit. This is a problem, 'cause getting to OBS, and not Fast Track, can be kind of tricky. And, when the patient ends up in Fast Track by accident, it delays care by hours and hours. When she refused the first time, my OBS nurse very correctly called down to triage to address the problem. No heat from her side - she just wanted to make sure it didn't happen again.

The triage nurse threw a hissy fit. And ya know what? The second patient she sent up got lost too. Not as lost, and not for nearly as long (we suspected triage might do something dumb again), but still. I really shouldn't have to get involved in this sh!t. If the nurse manager hadn't been on vacation this week, I wouldn't have had to stick my nose into the situation. Grr...

Upcoming vacation!

2008-01-13T22:32:00.000-06:00

I know I missed my last Saturday post (yesterday) and I'm hereby announcing that I'm likely gonna miss next Saturday as well. Why, you ask? I'm going on vacation! Where, you ask? My favorite place on earth, Steamboat Springs Colorado. And it's been snowing for two weeks straight - powder powder powder time, baby.

I'm a pretty good skier. I like to think I'm as good as anyone could be given:
- three weeks a year on skis from 3 years - 12 years
- two weeks a year from 12 - 18 years old
- one week a year most, but not all, years thereafter.

I can get down anything. I enjoy getting down most everything. But I'm only graceful about 70% of the time. I haven't been in Steamboat during a true powder dump since I was 18. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait. With my luck, though, the snow will stop two days prior to my arrival and a warm snap will arrive one day before I get there.

Grr.

Cross yer fingers for snow, baby!

Godf*ckingdamnbastardtraffic@ssholes!

2008-01-11T23:49:00.000-06:00

Goal: To enjoy the company of my friends at a birthday party, leave early enough to get home in time to have a final beer, wind down a little by myself AND get 6.5 - 7 hours of sleep.

What got in my way... Oh, that would be signage. Or rather, the lack thereof. There are about three ways to get back from my friend's house. Why so many options? He lives in bumfuck. Yes, it's a very nice section of bumfuck. And yes, it's a very nice house in a very nice section of bumfuck, but it's still bumfuck! And when you're so far away, there are almost always multiple routes. (Yes Karla, I'm talking about your brother. Seriously, does he really need to live 25.6 miles from the Montrose?)

One route - the northern one - would have been fine. That's the route the lovely Tom Tom gave us on the way out. Given how well things went, and given that the trip back was sans husband, I thought using the Tom Tom directions a second time would be swell.

Yeah, well, it would have been if the Tom Tom had been consistent. But nooooooooooo on the way back it sent me south. Which, since I was sans husband, I didn't realize until I was well on my way. Without the sun, I'm helpless at finding north.

So the Tom Tom sent me south to 10 and HW-6. Straight into construction. Bumper to bumper traffic at 1030p on a Friday. Grumpy much? Yeah, that would be me.

MacGyver!

2008-01-10T23:45:00.000-06:00

I've somehow conned my husband into watching DVDs of the second season of MacGyver with me. It's great. Although season three is better. But whatever! I'm getting my young and mulleted Richard Dean Anderson fix.

On another note - I've rediscovered the StudentDoctor.net forums. The emergency medicine forum in particular is hilarious. Some of the threads are boooooring. I really couldn't care about the residency match anymore. Nor do I care about 3rd year (medschool) clerkships. But the 'Things I Learn From My Patients" threads, part one and two, are great. So are the haikus.

Just go check it out.

Hair

2008-01-09T23:27:00.000-06:00

I finally got my hair cut. It's now shoulder length.

Tomorrow, we'll see how well I like it.

Chaos

2008-01-08T22:08:00.000-06:00

Doctors never get sick. At least that's the illusion. The best part is we, as physicians, buy into this one ourselves. And even though I intellectually disagree with the ironman mentality... I discovered today that I'm definitely a card-carrying member of the MD hardass society.

One of the other doctors in my emergency medicine group called in sick today. She couldn't work her shift. She said. And even though I didn't talk to her, I did overhear conversations between her and my boss.

She wasn't that sick. She wasn't going to the ER, or her doctor, or whatever. She just wasn't going to work.

Meanwhile, the rest of us were scrambling to cover the ER. I was covering two areas... and one of the two areas decided to turn into a burning cesspit of sickness. Patient number 1 had a hemoglobin level of 4; which would be one third of normal. One third of normal isn't good. She was a kind of pale I hadn't seen in a while. Patient number 2 had a gi-normus mass on her right neck involving her airway. Oh, and by the way, the child had an oxygen saturation of 85% (normal = 100%) because the stupid thing had started to grow.

Fabulous!

Now, on a good day, I like taking care of sick people. That is, after all, the whole point of becoming a doctor. But when I'm being pulled in five million different directions and I'm taking care of patients in two totally different geographic locations... at that point I'd really like to just be taking care of simple stuff, thanks. Airway impingement? Not so much.

The good news is that everyone made it out of the ER okay; the ICU players went to the ICU, the floor patients went to the floor, and everyone else stayed in the waiting room. 'Cause they weren't sick enough to get seen while I was there. So they made it out of the ER without being seen to go to their PRIMARY CARE DOCTOR tomorrow. Which was where they belonged, thankssomuch.

Scrub hierarchy

2008-01-07T23:25:00.000-06:00

There is a scrub hierarchy that only those in medicine knows. Furthermore, I'm not sure that non-doctors fully understand all of the class connotations of the scrub pyramid.

Lowest on the pyramid are the sales reps. These dudes try to mimic doctor scrubs, but always get the color wrong. Furthermore, their scrubs always fit too well, which is an immediate give-away.

Next are the orderlies, also known as PCAs. PCA stands for patient care associate. They basically take vital signs, clean up the messes, weigh poopy diapers and do other unpleasant tasks. Identifiable by their store bought scrubs and lack of stethoscopes, these poor folks are the bottom of the medical staffing structure.

I'm going to skip over respiratory techs and radiology techs. Their uniform is a lot like the PCA outfit, with slightly more medical knowledge. Which, of course, makes them more dangerous.

Nurses are the easiest creature to identify in the medical world. They always buy cutsy futsy scrubs. Frequently, their scrubs have been pressed. Never, every are their scrubs hospital green. Never, ever are their scrubs stained. Frequently, their scrubs have extra pockets, especially in the pants. Sometimes, those nurses even spring for elastic waistbands.

Just for contrast, MDs never buy their scrubs. We feel that we've paid the hospital enough in time and sweat that free scrub tops and bottoms are the least it owes us. Extra pockets? Who needs them! We've got the white coat. Elastic waistbands are for wussies, and cutsie pattern would make us look like nurses.

Basically, no culturally literate, self respecting doctor will ever find him or herself in store bought scrubs. If it ain't hospital style stolen, it ain't worth it!

Hockey!

2008-01-06T14:52:00.000-06:00

Hockey is a sport I thoroughly enjoy but don't really understand. I've had the basics explained to me, but I just get all confuzzled while I'm watching the game. It doesn't help that I've had the most exposure to American Hockey League and college hockey - basically the equivalent to triple and double A baseball. Which makes the hockey... sloppy. Hockey is an imprecise sport to begin with, so development league games are messy like a two year old eating chocolate cream pie.

My local team is the Aeros. We've been to one game so far this season, and we're going to a second this afternoon. I like watching them play, but sometimes I feel like the venue doesn't actually want us there. Aeros fans only get Bud Lite and similar; Rockets fans get a choice of barley-based libations. Yes, I know, Rockets games bring the venue much much more money. I don't care! I don't go to Rockets games. I want my bock beer, damn it! None of the nicer food joints are open for Aeros games, just burgers and such. Sometimes I think they would close some of the bathrooms if they could get away with it. Stoopid Toyota Center. Stoopid South for not supporting hockey. Pbbt!

Wild-card Games

2008-01-05T20:53:00.000-06:00

What the fuck happened to Rothlisberger? Three interceptions in the first half? Is he out of his mind? So the Steelers are losing; as I write this, the halftime show is blathering away. Is there any use to the post-season halftime show? I don't think so. Every day during the playoffs, there are at most 2 games. I don't really need to hear 20 minutes of recap. Nor do I need to hear recap of the game I'm already watching.

Halftime shows are just annoying. I'd rather watch a marching band or maybe some pretty cheerleaders. Even Janet Jackson's boob is preferable.

Really, it's still yesterday

2008-01-05T00:32:00.000-06:00

Or at least as far as I'm concerned - I haven't been to bed yet.

Today I treated the PWT Award Winner. These poor white trash folks really just never had any chance. Great grandma had a face that had been around the block so many times that 'roadmap' was an understatement. Grandma was MIA. Mom was, at the MOST, 16 years old. However, the award winner for the family was Dad. Or better stated, the baby daddy - since all he did was donate the sperm.

Babydaddy, like the child, has seizures... maybe. According to the Mom, "The dad says he has seizures, but his dad (ie Dad's dad) says that he only has fits when he's doing cocaine."

Oh snap, now that's a good family tree. This kid is already done for - PWT, a Dad with substance abuse issues, and a mother that probably won't finish high school. Good luck and good night!

Don't drop yer baby

2008-01-03T20:40:00.000-06:00

I'm just saying. 'Cause if you do, I'll call CPS on your ass. Especially if the 'dropping the baby' story doesn't match with the two skull fractures, one older than the other. Again, I'm just saying.

In other news, hubbie and I are finally sitting down to do something we haven't done in days and days and days: watch our DVR! Mythbusters is at our fingertips, along with Bionic Woman, Torchwood, Dirty Jobs, Good Eats, Eureka and Top Gear. So far, we've tackled a Bionic Woman and we're midway through Mythbustuers.

Holidays

2008-01-02T19:14:00.001-06:00

Mad props to folks who can blog every day through the holidays. I have proven that I can't. We had a crazy good time, though. Our annual New Year's Eve bash was a success. Most of the guests did, in fact, show up in formal wear. Our food came off well, even if the filet mignon was saltier than I'd usually like. We didn't run out of booze, which had been an initial fear. Best of all, even though I got drunk, I didn't get totally sloppy, pass out or puke. Go me!

Usually, when we through a party, I do well through the first 2/3rds of the night... but then during the last hours of the party I usually lose all control, slam the drinky-drinks and get shit-faced. Shit-faced then leads to passing out, which leads to hubbie staying up until all of the guests leave followed by shafting him with most of the cleaning. Not very cool.

This year, I stayed up until the fat lady sang. One number: 5. The party lasted until 5am. Holy crap! According to hubbie, most of our parties last that long. People, that's 11 hours of party. Yeesh. Who knew we were such animals?

Destruction of a tree

2007-12-27T22:55:00.000-06:00

So I took down the Chridma tree today. Hubbie was sad, since he didn't get to participate. I was sad because I like having the tree up. I learned several things while dismantling the tree:

there's always a missing ornament.
no matter how well I think I'm wrapping the lights, I'll still have a mess to unwrap next year. And yeah, this year I thought I'd wrapped things pretty well.
the tree is always lighter on the way out.
the tree is always messier on the way out. How many needles does a noble fir have? Ask my floor.
the water in the tree stand? Yeah, it's nasty. And smelly. Beware.

Next up is New Year's Eve. We're throwing a formal, black tie, sit down dinner. Unfortunately, a large portion of our friends haven't GROWN UP and learned how to be on time. So they get punished - no filet mignon for them! (If any of them are reading this, I'm serious. You late, you no get the meat.)

People are dumb

2007-12-26T17:31:00.000-06:00

I worked a 12 hour shift yesterday. Here's a list of what constitutes a "pediatric emergency" on Christmas day:

Fever - I had lots of these. Only about 1 in 5 of these children were actually sick.
Constipation - Again, are people stupid?
Congestion - Just blow the damn kid's nose.
"My butt hurts" - This one eneded up being real, but only because the child developed intractable vomiting while waiting to see me. Her butt was fine.
"Spider bite" - These are almost always real, since in H-town a 'spider bite' is actually an abscess. And I can fix those.
Broken arm - I can't fix those myself, but I can give your kid the good drugs while the orthopod fixes it.

The first three made up the bulk of my patients, took up the bulk of my time and made me renew my confidence that most people are, truly, stupid.

Dailies

2007-12-24T17:07:00.000-06:00

So I'm not doing so well on this daily posting bit, am I? I'm sure all the other daily bloggers are just as busy as I am, and they seem to do just fine. Dave, however, does have the unfair advantage of an iPhone; the handy device allows him to post from anywhere. Then again, he was a daily poster long before his beloved Apple gizmo was invented. So no excuses for me!

Today I finally finished by Chridma shopping. Chridma consists of all of the commercial and social aspects of Christmas without any of the Godly bits. Carols are fine... as long as they couldn't also pass as hymms. Decorations are fine... as long as the baby Jesus is no where to be found. Big lavish family meals are fine... as long as no one says grace. Gifts are freakin' great... as long as I don't have to 'give thanks to God' for my booty. I'll happily give thanks to the gift giver, instead. Usually in form of smooches, since the gift giver is almost always my hubbie.

He does such a good job with 'dem presents. I'm staring at a stack of them right now and I can't WAIT!

Sorry

2007-12-21T09:21:00.000-06:00

So I missed yesterday. Shoot me. We had the annual office party yesterday, and fun was had by all. It was, however, a very strange party. I always see all of these people in scrubs or at least white coats. Party clothes made everyone almost unrecognizable. One of my buddies commented, "If I hadn't seen you, I would have thought I was at the wrong party."

Other strange things:

The boss didn't show up - at all. What's up with that? The boss doesn't show up to the department party - that's weird.
Child Life can boogy down. I mean, seriously, the girl has moves.
Research assistants + orderlies = near sex on the dance floor... at an office party. Can we say, not good for the career?
Drunk doctors are funny. 'Nuff said.
Drunk nurses are even funnier. It's like a college frat party, only better, 'cause the floors aren't sticky.

EMSTAT

2007-12-20T00:29:00.000-06:00

I don' t know how clear I've been in the past about where I work; I actually have two job sites. I work at the Big House and the Community Hospital. The Big House is a large tertiary care children's hospital while the Community Hospital is a tax payer funded county hospital. On days like today, where I worked yesterday at the Community Hospital and today at Big House, the differences seem pretty stark.

Yesterday - porn computer. Today - the system that helps us track patient location went down. Of course, our system outage coincided with a huge bed crunch and flood of new patients. It was like everyone wanted to get his kid checked out before Christmas, but didn't want to see the pediatrician during shopping hours. Very frustrating.

ComPuterMachine

2007-12-19T00:29:00.000-06:00

I could have sworn that I'd blogged about this before, but I can't find the post. And I'm too lazy to keep on looking. So there's this computer at work - henceforth known as the porn computer - with no firewall protection. Which is good, 'cause the firewall protection at the community hospital is so strict as to be debilitating, but bad, because, well, no firewall = no protection. I always feel like I've having sex without a condom when I use that thing.

Recently, I've noticed the porn computer getting slower and buggier. So I stopped checking any accounts that need a password from that machine. But I didn't stop using it for patient data. Inconsistent much? I think so.

I feel pretty stupid, since I didn't catch my own inconsistency until tonight. Then I ask myself if I would be comfortable having my personal health information accessed from the porn computer. The answer is clearly no.

But there isn't much I can do about the porn computer. The hospital IT department has tried to replace it several times, but the doctors working the ER will literally sacrifice body and soul to keep the thing around. We all know that if it gets fixed, we won't have access to YouTube, NBC.com programming, the pediatric clinical adviser, or any of the other stuff we've come to rely on. So what to do?

I dunno, but I've decided I'm not using the thing at all. At least that way I'll be consistent.

Daily Posting

2007-12-17T22:49:00.000-06:00

I've decided I'm an all or nothing kinda gal. Either I never post (as any reader will have experienced) or I post all of the time. (again... as any reader...)

So I'm going to attempt to post daily. What will I write? I have no clue. The slant of the blog may end up medical, it may end up personal, or it may be a recipe a day. I kinda hope it ends up being a-recipe-a-day blog - that would mean I'm cooking most days. Which would be good.

Or I could just talk about the TV series Heroes. DVR is a beautiful thing - we're
only just now catching up. Hiro rules, Peter rules, Adam... not so much. Screen Writers Guide strike must end so I can see how this tangle ends! So say we all.

St. Louis Food

2007-12-16T21:58:00.000-06:00

Amazingly enough, I've been more impressed by St. Louis food than Houston food. And I think I know why. Houston doesn't have many one-off, unique and mid-priced restaurants. Sure, we have multiple cheap, ethnic joints. Sure, we have tons and TONS of mid-priced regional chains: Pappas, Landry's and Goode Company. But how many restaurants like Benjy's? Not that many, and really not that many inside the Loop.

In contrast, I went to three fantastic, mid-priced yet geographically close restaurants during my recent trip to the Gateway to the West. One, Remy's, has been around forever. Farotto's has the best pizza ever, and I've been going there since I was born. The quality has never wagered, and I swear half of the teenage population of Kirkwood has worked there. And then there was Acero. Acero is in a region that used to be known as "Maple-hood" instead of Maplewood. Acero serves the best risotto I've ever had outside of Italy. Acero served three people three courses including a NICE bottle of wine for about $100.

Oh yeah, I ate well in St. Louis.

If it weren't for Tapatia Taqueria, I'd be sad to be home.

Mother, mother...

2007-12-13T17:37:00.000-06:00

can you hear me?

Yup, it's that time of year again - time for the annual trip up north to visit my bat shit crazy mother. This visit is going fairly well. What do I mean by well? Let me tell you!

She hasn't interrupted my shower. Last year she barged in on my naked white ass to ask if she could use the computer. Why did she think she needed to ask? I might be using it, of course! She knows my mad telekinetic skills were surfing the web from the comfort of the shower stall. So nice of her to ask.
No yelling!
No discussion of her medication! She's on Forteo, which is used to treat osteoporosis. As you can see via the link, Forteo requires daily subcutaneous injection just like insulin. What you might not have noticed is that the stuff requires refridgeration between 36-46 degrees Fahrenheit... a fact my mother ruminates about ENDLESSLY. When she's traveling, all she can think about is the temperature of her med. Leaning Tower of Pisa? Who cares! The Forteo is 47 degrees! Disaster! If I thought I could get her off of this crap, I would do handsprings of joy.
No discussion of 'the Market.' Mom seems to think that by closely watching the stock market and following its every twitch and twiggle, she'll miraculously make more money. Since we pay a financial management company obscene amounts of moolah to manage her moolah, her input is, shall we say, teenie-tiny. She can go on an on about how badly the economy is failing... even when the NYSE is having a good year. Thankfully, right now she's so depressed about the market she won't say anything at all. Hooray for recessions!
We've only had the same conversation about five times now. Usually by this point in the trip, i'll be up to 20 or 30. So we're doing well.

I've sucessfully survived more than 24 hours. I've got about 36 more to go... wish me luck, peeps!

iTunes meme

2007-11-25T23:16:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, this is a tired meme. No, I don't care. Take that!

How many total songs?

3398 items, 9.4 days. I say 'items' because I have a lot of audiobooks, continuing-medical-education stuff and podcasts. I listen to all of this stuff and I rarely listen to music in the car anymore. Without the spoken word component, my iPod isn't worth mentioning.

Sort by song title - first and last...
a. Dodo - b. Lurker by Genesis and 500 by Lush.

Sort by time - shortest and longest...
(Four seconds of noise) by Hot Hot Heat (a song four seconds long - how appropriate!) and Trigger for Happiness by Machines of Loving Grace at 30min 12sec. Just FYI - the second shortest song on my list is thirty minutes and four seconds long. Apparently I attract long songs.

Sort by Album - first and last...
Abacab by Genesis and %$&@^ by KMFDM

Sort by Artist - first and last...
A-ha, then Young MC. Quality, people, quality.

Top five played songs...
You Know My Name by Chris Cornell, Mad World by Michael Andrews and Gary Jules, Up to the Roof by the Blue Man Group, Calling You by Blue October, and All My Life by the Foo Fighters.

Find the following words. How many songs show up?
Sex: 10, Death: 9, Love: 130, You: 347, Home: 19, Boy: 57, Girl: 38.

First five songs that come up on Party Shuffle...
Three Days by Jane's Addiction, Hail to the Bop by Meat Beat Manifesto, Jambi by Tool, Emeritus Sleepus by Green Day, Truth is Out of Style by MC 900 Foot Jesus.

The Community Hospital Strikes Again!

2007-11-20T04:00:00.000-06:00

My shift started at midnight. As I'm walking toward the copy machine to photocopy some kid's insurance card (yes, I know, not my job, but hey, when you want something done...) I pass by traige and notice a pale, limp, bluish-grey infant breathing fast and grunting.

Oh ho, say I. What's this?

The lovely triage nurse replies that the patient had just checked in, but nothing else was known. We share a look. That look held all the knowledge and experience of all our previous shifts together. On a higher plane, we commune with the universe and come to a mutual, unspoken and instantaneous agreement.

Smoothly, we both move to the shock room. She sets up the pulse ox, I reach for oxygen. Our little baby is only getting 85% of the oxygen he needs. Orders are written. Without much ado, we get the IV. Wonderous. Fluids start, labs are sent. For once, everything flows like a river flows toward the ocean, smoothly and easily.

We decide to intubate. Medications appear, respiratory techs arrive. My resident easily slides the tube into the trachea. Glorious, glorious.

I have never had a code go so smoothly here at the Tub. I wonder how I'll be made to pay.

Productivity

2007-11-19T17:53:00.000-06:00

Not gonna be an exciting blog post, but I just gotta scratch my own back. By the time I go to sleep, I will have:

Created the menu for Thursday. (Sorry for not consulting you, hubbie! Love you!)
Done most of my shopping for my Turkey Day Food Fest and Friday's Green Bean Extravaganza.
Cleaned out my work e-mail account. I took that biatch down from 8 pages of largely unread email and spam to two pages of work-only, non-spam, fully-read content. Hah!
Worked an 8 hour shift.
Re-read at least some of the articles associated with my research project.
Had dinner with friends.

Take that, procrastination. My therapist would be proud...

Best Roadtrip Bathroom Award

2007-11-13T18:58:00.000-06:00

I hereby nominate Buc-ee's for the Best Roadtrip Bathroom ever. What makes this pot spot so great? Let me list the ways:

The bathroom are so clean I'd eat off the floor for $5.
Location doesn't matter - each Buc-ee's is just as nice as the last.
Each stall has a toilet seat sanitizer dispenser screwed to the wall. Just a little of this gel based substance and some toilet paper, and your ass will never come in contact with nasty poo-based germs. Brilliant!
I've never had to ask the lady in the next stall for more toilet paper. Buc-ee's either has really diligent staff or they've discovered the fountain of TP. I don't know which is true and I don't care.
The automatic paper towel dispensers actually give a usable amount of toweling. No going back for a second piece - who woudda thought?

Even though I just said that consistency is one of the key's to Buc-ee's success, I do have a favorite location. #17 in Luling is awesome. Not only are the bathrooms huge, the rest of the store is a destination in itself. You can get beef jerky, made-as -you-wait deli sandwiches, Texas-style home decor, your usual junk food, basic car repair supplies, large charcoal grills, hunting blinds and deer corn. And no, I'm not kidding about the last three offerings. Anyone on IH-10 between Houston and San Antonio must stop here. It's seriously worth it.

Pseudoseizures

2007-11-01T01:52:00.000-05:00

Now people, this diagnosis is a pain in the ass. Pseudoseizures are events that look like seizures to non-medicos. But, guess what, they aren't actually seizures. The kids fake it. They might night mean to fake it - they're acting out against intolerable stress - but basically they're hamming it up.

Not a popular diagnosis. Picture this converstation:

Me - The EEG was negative; no seizures were seen. Your child had three events during the EEG. Therefore, given the normal EEG, your child is having psuedoseizures.

Parent - Does that mean she's doing this herself?

Me - Yes. She isn't doing it deliberately, but the jerking movements she makes are essentially voluntary.

Parent - ^%$#&^%( *&(&^$^%$#^%%(*&^*&% $&%^$# %$#EWS FGBVFGVB OIU^T*&^%# @$#EWQ@RE#$^%

Yeah. It goes just about that well.

It just sucks. If someone has abnormal, seizure-like movements during the EEG, but still has a negative EEG... seizure disorder has been ruled out. Period. One cannot seize without abnormal electrical activity in the brain. Period.

And teenagers are bad at faking. For whatever reason, kids with pseudoseizures always sort of twiddle their fingers during the 'attacks'. Let me tell ya, people seizing DON'T waggle their fingers in the air. Nor can they walk. But really, it's the finger twitching that gets me. Where do they get this stuff?

BoSox Win the World Series!

2007-10-28T23:25:00.000-05:00

Time: 2pm the day of game 4

Setting: Streets of Houston

Me: walking out wearing an old Red Sox t-shirt with "5 Garciaparra" on the back

Random guy: "Wow, that shirt is awfully popular right now." (Looking at the front of my BoSox shirt.)

Me: "Good thing I've had it since Nomar actually played with the Sox." (He left the Sox in 2004. I've probably had the shirt since about 2001.)

Guy: "Oh."

I hate stupid boys who assume females cannot be genuine sports fans. I hate Houstonians who think that the Red Sox Nation is made up of people who don't actually follow baseball. I hate anyone who thinks that I'm a freeloading fanboy type.

Go Sox.

Now for the off season - the Astros are going to suck, 'cause the management doesn't have its shit together. The Red Sox will probably be alright... provided they sign Lowell.

Enough of that, though. The Sox won the World Series, I got to see two (2!) games at Fenway this season, I saw Papelbon and Dice-K pitch, and we threw an awesome Halloween party last night. Life is good!

Okay, why I want Clubhouse Champagne Shower Coverage

2007-10-22T01:16:00.000-05:00

Johnathan Papelbon did his nearly trademark celebration dance on the field at Fenway Park tonight. He eventually got one of the guys from the Dropkick Murphy's to join him.

How much did I want to see that? Uh... a LOT!

Stoopid TV. Stoopid living in Houston.

We WON, beotches!

2007-10-22T00:30:00.000-05:00

First off, go BoSox. I missed the first three innings 'cause I was working at Ye Olde Community Hospital. Four vomickings, six snotty noses, one huge mass of armpit puss and one possible case of juvenile arthritis (the saddest and hardest of all the diagnosis listed by far) later, I was sitting in BW3's* watching my boys put together a lead.

After one super fast trip home, we finished watching the Boston Red Sox sail into the World Series. Such a good game. It was a vastly closer game than the score would suggest. At the end, the announcers served us the usual bullshit - blah blah blah, trophy presentation, blah, blah, blah, the ALCS MVP award. Even though Josh Beckett deserved the MVP, I think the award should have gone to The Rookies. All of 'em. Pedroia, Matsuzaka (okay, only a rookie to American baseball), Ellsbury, and even Buchholz (who hasn't played during the post-season as far as I can tell, but did pitch a no-hitter earlier this year) should have split it; they deserved the MVP. Without Pedroia and Ellsbury, we would have lost tonight's game. And without Matsuzaka and Buchholz, we wouldn't have gotten to the playoffs. But anyway, what I really wanted to see was the post-game player celebration as it happened. Crimmeny, we have 300+ stations, couldn't some alternate station skip the bullshit and let us watch the Clubhouse Champagne Shower?

No, apparently not.

But who cares? BoSox in the World Series! Whoo!

On another note, I told a lie in the last post. My husband did not score us a BMW wagon. He had the choice between the sedan with a sports package, which includes a stiffer suspension and better seats, or a wagon. He picked the package. I'm disappointed, but I have a sneaky suspicion that once I drive our car with the sports package I will change my mind. I don't really care, since the whole deal will only last a grand total of two years.

Later bitches. Go Sox!

* Buffalo Wild Wings used to be BW3's. I've never been able to get used to the new name. Sue me.

New Car

2007-10-16T02:53:00.000-05:00

I've been a bad girl. No posts for weeks and weeks! Plenty to talk about now.

Hubbie and I went on the world's longest four day vacation evah. On Thursday, it felt like Wednesday had actually occurred a week ago. By the time Sunday came around, Wednesday felt like the previous summer. Seriously. The California wine country was astounding.

We traveled with my friend Steve, his sister and her friends. Everyone was younger than us - Steve's only one year younger than me, but you wouldn't know it by the way he acts. He's in, shall we say, a transitional period in his life. And that transition apparently requires a lot of lubrication with alcohol.

Steve's mental age is about 25, and everyone else was pretty much fresh out of college. Hubbie and I felt like the elder statesman and the matriarch of the trip. At one point, each of us ended up sitting at the head of the table staring across this great expanse of wood, lording our age and wisdom over everyone else. Or something like that. We did end up organizing more than 50% of the trip - but only because neither one of us has the patience to sit around and play the, "Oh, I dunno, whatever you want to do is fine..." game. We're too old for that shit.

We're also DINKs - double income no kids - so we bought a LOT of wine. Beautiful chardonnays, a merlot I actually liked and truckloads of pinot noirs. We bought more wine than I honestly know what to do with. I can't wait for the packages to arrive!

I guess I should talk about the title of this post - New Car. We bought a new car! A Beamer! (See the DINK thing, above.) We had thought we'd be sensible with perhaps a new Volkswagon GTI. Sexy, fast and five doors - sounds pretty much perfect. Then the evil hand of advertising intervened. BMW has a lease deal on now advertising a 3 series for about $350 a month. Yes, there is fine print and no, no one really actually gets the car for $350 a month. But the idea of a BMW would just NOT go away.

And somehow, Hubbie negotiated a deal. We're getting a 328i wagon (!) with a stick (!) for about $60 more a month than the VW. Five doors! Wagon-y goodness! (I love me a good wagon. I like the large carrying capacity, fast wagons are cool since no one expects speed from a wagon and sticks in wagons are just sexy. Sorry, they just are.) We won't get the beast for six weeks... but I can wait!

Bioshock Empty Box

2007-09-02T18:35:00.000-05:00

Just went to Circuit City to get my first ever Xbox 360 game. Our new console came this weekend, and we've been playing all of our regular Xbox games to death. But no actual Xbox 360 games.

In comes Bioshock. Widely touted, well reviewed, awesome demo. Couldn't wait. So off we went. I was so excited that I started unwrapping the game out in the car on the way home.

Glad I did.

There wasn't a disc in the box. Sealed package, security tape at the bottom fully intact, "Xbox certification" seal slightly ragged, but no game. Huh? U-turn and head back to the store.

Get this - every box of the game in the store (a grand total of three) was completely disc-free. We got our money back (thanks, Circuit City) but it still miffs me. Is someone down in Mexico (where the discs are pressed) taking some off the top? Is there someone along the supplier chain that's handy with adhesives stealing the discs and then repackaging them? Is Microsoft acting like evil record companies of old, and inflating its numbers? The latter seems unlikely, since the game is selling like hotcakes and geeks everywhere are screaming its praises. If this was a widespread problem, I would have gotten more than a solitary hit on my Google search. So I don't think that whoever is pulling this scheme is working a large operation. Something small scale - a couple of dudes somewhere.

To those dudes - you suck. I wasted part of my life driving in circles for no reward because of you. I hope that you're happy with yourself, assmunch.

What's for dinner?

2007-08-27T20:05:00.001-05:00

Do you ever make yourself such a great dinner that you wish you took a picture of it?

I did!

The Menu:

Roasted Rack of Lamb with Tzatziki Sauce
Roasted Red Potatoes
Roasted Asparagus
Fig with Honey and Beecher's Flagship Handmade Cheese

The roasted rack of lamb was an adaptation of the recipe in the incredibly useful The Gourmet Cookbook edited by Ruth Reichl. I love this tome - more modern than the Joy of Cooking, but still very good about including adequate instruction with each recipe. The tzatziki recipe I stole completely shamelessly from Alton Brown. Goodness, do I love that man. So smart, so funny, so science-y. Together, the combo was luscious.

The roasted asparagus is the easiest thing in the world, and we've been doing it for so long I don't know where I got the recipe from, or even if it was me. For all I can remember, Chris found/stole/modified it. Basically, get some asparagus, wash them and cut off the tough bottom stems. Toss with Kosher (or sea) salt, fresh ground pepper and olive oil. Preheat the oven to 400F and cook for somewhere between 3-5 minutes per side.

The fig dish is also easy. Buy some good figs, wash them and then slice them into eighths. Crumble cheese on top, then drizzle with honey. Yum!

Notice the emphasis on roasting? That's to make the most of the hot oven. The flow of the cooking process went like this:

Preheat oven to 400F
Trim excess fat off of the rack of lamb, then divide into sections of three ribs each. (Note: lots of cookbooks recommend 4 ribs per person. That's too much. Three is plenty.) Rub lamb with salt, pepper and olive oil.
Quarter small red potatoes, rub with salt, pepper and olive oil then place in 9x13 glass dish. Set aside.
Preheat skillet to brown lamb. Heat the skillet (preferably cast iron) until hot but not smoking.
Prepare asparagus as above. Place on cookie sheet.
Sear each side of the lamb - about 3-4 minutes per side.
Toss lamb (fat side up) into dish with potatoes, then insert meat thermometer. Toss whole dish into oven.
Set meat thermometer to go off at 130F.
Do nothing for about 20 minutes.
When the lamb is done, check the potatoes. If they aren't done, take the lamb out to rest and return the potatoes to the oven. Meanwhile, the cookie sheet with the asparagus gets to join the roasting party.
Roast the asparagus as above, while the meat rests at least 5 minutes. Slice figs, cheese and drizzle honey.
Slice the roast into single rib slices, plate and serve!

Since pretty much everything goes in the oven, life is easy. While I was doing everything outlined above, the hubbie was making the tzatziki. Divide and conquer, baby! The key to the tzatziki is getting proper Greek yogurt. Then you don't have to do the

Place the yogurt in a tea towel, gather up the edges, suspend over a bowl, and drain for 2 hours in the refrigerator.

bit. Totally skippable.

Anyway, I'm back from the bad place of the last post, and I shouldn't have to go back for another 3 months or so. Thanks for the kind thoughts.

Help

2007-08-25T11:12:00.001-05:00

It's worse.

I'm going nuts.

FUCK!

Good day, bad day

2007-08-21T20:33:00.000-05:00

Today was somewhere in between. So today, since I'm not good enough to put together a funny paragraph, but I'm not bad enough to totally ignore the blog, I declare today a Bullet Post Day! Horray!

Interns say stupid things. For example, today the surgery intern told the attending, "Oh, I missed that. I wasn't paying that much attention." For shame, doctor. For shame.
There is a baseball player named "Nook." He plays for the Nationals.
My cat likes to chew my hair clip. When I don't wear the thing, he'll leave the back of my head alone. Somehow, the addition of plastic to the back of my head makes it a prime target for chewing, leaning, rubbing and nudging. Yargh!
The Astros sorta suck. Makes me very sad, but there it is. We'll go to a few more games, but our season is over. Next year, peeps, next year.

Okay, so there were only 4 bullets. Too few to be a good post, but not bad enough to erase. Eh - I guess that's just the day I've had...

Wild Pitch

2007-08-17T20:40:00.000-05:00

Hah! It's always fun to watch an 'ace' implode.

As long as the pitcher in question is not the ace of YOUR team. For example, I'm thoroughly enjoying watching Fernando "K Rod" Rodriquez totally lose it. So far, he's allowed a run on a wild pitch (BoSox now two runs down), a double to David "Big Papi" Ortiz allowing 2 runs (game now tied) and a double to Manny Ramirez allowing one run (the go-ahead run! Yay!)

On the flip side, watching Brad Lidge progress from "Lights Out" Lidge to "Maybe It's a Bit Dim in Here" Lidge to "Who Left the Lights On?" Lidge was really painful. Luckily, Lidge seems to be recovering.

Hopefully, K Rod will continue to suck. Yup.

Silliness, Tron and Wargames

2007-08-14T21:44:00.000-05:00

Did you know that some of the best movies are the ones about old technology? Well not really old - not 19th century old. Just older projections of where technology would go. For example, the all-seeing war simulator in Wargames (aka the WOPR, pronounced like the Burger King sandwich), the MCP in Tron or the super silent Caterpillar Drive in the Hunt for Red October. I mean, really, who moves a huge several ton vessel through the water with sound? Really!

(Brief aside, if a submarine could actually be propelled by sound I apologize. It does somehow seem to be the most immediately plausible of the above options...)

But people, watching Wargames is still huge fun. The learning computer - what could be more prescient? Not to mention the young Matthew Broderick. Drool... Tron? The sketches of the proposed cycles are engaging, and Jeff Bridges is The Man. Hunt for Red October has the super-yummy Sean Connery. Oh yeah, and Alec Baldwin before he got chunky. Yummy yummy to the tummy tummy!

Oh yeah, and did I mention Tron? The Bit! Yes yes yes yes yes... The Users are a myth, baby.

Sweep!

2007-08-08T22:26:00.000-05:00

The Astros swept the Cubbies today. The best part of the whole game was the shit-eating grin on Roy Oswalt's face as he struck out Zambrano for the 3rd time. The dude doesn't show any emotion most of the time (except extreme intensity, of course) and he busted out with this grin that could not be stopped.

So cute.

Anyway, I've been neglecting the blog. Bad me. No excuses - I just let the thing slide. I've had plenty of ideas to write about, and maybe that was the problem. Too many ideas. Back in June I was gonna post pics of the baseball trip. Then in July I was gonna write about the beach house. Then later in July I was gonna write about my research, and then earlier this month I was gonna write about how crazy it is to look forward to visiting my in-laws but dread visiting my mother.

And so on.

It wasn't just my blog that I was ignoring, either. I wasn't reading other blogs. Not my invite-only blogs, not the lesser-known public blogs, and not the hugely popular famous blogosphere types.

You could say I dropped out. Now I've re-enrolled. I guess. Check back next week and see if I actually meant what I'm saying now... heh.

Retarded

2007-06-05T00:37:00.000-05:00

In Houston, MRSA accounts for 60% of all the S. aureus in town. For those not in medicine:

MRSA = methicillin resistant Staphlococcus aureus = very bad bacteria that can kill you if not treated properly.
MRSA will not be killed by the old school antibiotics like Augmentin, Keflex, etc.
Good pediatricians should know the above information.

But hey, if you're not from around here, or didn't train around here, the MD might not know. Fair enough. However, ONLY A RETARD gets mad when I alert you, as the primary pedi, about the above facts.

Hey buddy, if you wanna get sued (and/or kill the patient) 'cause you're too proud to listen to some FRIENDLY ADVICE that's not my problem. I'm still gonna admit your patient, treat with appropriate antibiotics and disregard anything stoopid coming out of your mouth. Don't yell at me. I'm just trying to help.

Yummy to my tummy

2007-06-01T19:55:00.000-05:00

Recipe for tonight's meal:

Vinaigrette & Greens

- 1/4 cup of rice wine vinegar
- 1/3 cup avocado oil
- generous tablespoon tarragon
- two generous tablespoons minced shallots
- one smallish tablespoon dijon mustard
- three large fistfuls of mache (a type of green)
- two large fistfuls of spring mix greens
- two generous tablespoons of minced chives
- one medium tomato, cut into chunks

Shrimp & its brine

- 3/4 lbs deveined, but not peeled, shrimp
- 1/4 cup sugar
- 1/4 cup kosher salt
- 1 cup water
- 2 cups ice

Crostini

- a dozen or so cripsy pita chips
- goat cheese

Make the vinaigrette by mixing the first five ingredients in an airtight container. Shake vigorously and set aside. Wash the shrimp, then place them in a plastic bag along with the sugar, salt, water and ice. Shake to mix, then set in fridge to brine for 20 minutes, shaking to remix about halfway through.

Meanwhile, wash, dry and mix the mache and the spring mix. Toss with the chives. Then spread the goat cheese on the pita chips. Spread the chips on a baking sheet, goat cheese side up.

Once the shrimp have brined for 15 minutes, preheat the broiler and broiler pan on high. When the shrimp have finished their brine, rinse and then thoroughly dry them with paper towels. Pull the broiler pan out and spread the shrimp over the pan. Return the pan to the broiler for 2 minutes. Flip the shrimp, then broil for another minute or minute and a half. Replace the shrimp with the pita chips. Watch carefully! After about 90 seconds, the goat cheese will have melted and the chips will be browned. Remove the pita chips from the oven and set aside.

Toss the salad with several tablespoons of the vinaigrette and the tomatoes. Separate into bowls. Peel the shrimp and arrange on top of the greens, then add the pita chips.

Enjoy!

Hold music

2007-06-01T09:01:00.000-05:00

Note: this a post I started months ago. I was going through my posts creating labels, and decided to finish it.

There are few things worse in life than hold music. There are many varieties: easy listening, informative, piped-in radio music, classical. But do you know what's worse than hold music? No hold music at all. Then you have to keep checking the phone's display to make sure that they dumbshits on the other end haven't hung up on yo ass.

I'm a GENIUS!

2007-05-30T23:42:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, work is just funny. Medicine takes a lot of training, but sometimes it's the simple stuff that patients really appreciate. Example:

Adolescent girl carried in by her parents after a fall. On exam, her right patella is waaaaaaaaaaaay out of place. If the proper place for a knee bone is earth, this sucker was having a picnic on Pluto. Luckily, reducing a dislocated patella is easy: put medial and upward pressure on the patella and then flex (bend) the knee. Pop! Right back to earth. So I reduced her dislocation, causing this child to scream, "Yeoow! (Pause) OH MY GOD, you're a GENIUS!" Needless to say, I was very gratified. Until the entire department started teasing me about my Einsteinian status. It doesn't help that I have a button on my badge that labels me "Jenius". Heh.

I love my job.

Two a day - kitchen style

2007-05-24T03:16:00.000-05:00

I've come across a meme I can't resist. Without further ado - the kitchen meme!

In the kitchen with... doctawife

Variety is the spice of life.
In my cupboard, I have this many spices: Two drawers worth, plus the revolving spice rack on top, PLUS the four kinds of salt I have around: sea salt, kosher salt, regular table salt and pink salt I picked up in Napa Valley.
Rack or no rack? Both. We used to have two racks in the old apartment, but the new place is more of a drawer kinda joint, so we've retired them. Except for the revolving rack mentioned above.
Alphabetize? Um, no. The salt is kept next to the cooktop with the oils and tongs, the popular spices are in the top drawer, and the revolving rack holds some of the marginally useful stuff. Definitely no A-Z order.
Which spice do you use most often? Fleur de Sel. Or is that Sal? Anyway, it's fancy French sea salt. I love it.
Which recipe? Ooooh. I just made a fantastic dish inspired by the Indian subcontinent from one of the Food and Wine cookbooks. I love me the Food and Wine - so hard to go wrong.

It's like the pot calling the kettle black.
Coffee or tea? Coffee
Do you make coffee at home? Yes. We have at least five different ways to make coffee around here: French press, drip machine, Bodum weird vacuum kettle, espresso machine, ebrit, and probably something I can't remember.
If you make tea, loose or in bags? Loose. But usually only when we want something decaf.
How many kinds of tea do you have? 2 or 3, mostly herbal.

If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
I use my stovetop: I used to use my stovetop almost every day, but then I started working again. Since hubbie and I are both gaining weight, I (we) need to starting cooking for ourselves more. Even when using heavy cream, I think we do better calorie wise eating at home than when eating out. And I love my stovetop - five burners of joy...
I use my oven: Whenever I'm baking bread, a chicken or a pizza. Yummy stuff, but the darn thing definitely needs cleaning!

Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
Soy or cow? Organic Cow all the way! So yummy, and the expiration date is always light years farther away than the non organic stuff.
Skim or whole? 2%. I used to be a skim kinda gal, but I've come to love whole milk in my coffee. My compromise? 2%.
How many gallons a week? Less than a 1/2 gallon. Really, it's just around for coffee and the occasional sauce. No glasses of milk here... Well, unless peanut butter is involved. Then a glass of milk is a must.

Three items in my freezer (right now):

home made chicken stock
pasta
home made ground beef

Three things in my fridge (right now):

St. Arnold's root beer
St. Arnold's Lawnmower
Yummy leftovers from that Indian inspired dish I mentioned earlier.

Item I am most chagrined about: The lack of fresh produce. I want to cook more, damn it! But I can't if the fridge and pantry are bare. Grocery store, here I come!

Item I bet noone else has: A pressure cooker. And yes, I use that sucker all of the time. How do you think I got all that home made chicken stock when I work crazy doctor hours? I don't have time to wait around for stock to simmer! 30 minutes in a pressure cooker and I'm done, baby. One of the best inventions ever, I tell ya!

Prostitutes

2007-05-24T02:56:00.001-05:00

Now, I've never understood why the world's oldest profession is illegal. If I give it up for free, no problem. But if a guy or gal charges for it? Horrifying! Is sex for money really that bad? If regulated, wouldn't the government make money hand over fist? Wouldn't both the johns and the whores enjoy a safer environment? It's just sex. Not coke or heroin or pedophilia - just sex between consenting adults with a pre-existing cash contract. Sounds kinda like a premarital agreement if ya ask me. A very short term marital agreement, but hey, some folks just aren't that into commitment....

And if prostitution was legal, my biggest pet peeve about my 'hood would go away: the transvestite hookers. Why would they go away? These 'gals' would have some regulated indoor space in which to work... NOT the street in front of my townhouse! I have slowly started to hate these 'ladies'. They bring thoroughly unsavory johns into my area, decrease my property value and worst of all make me feel unsafe. I just got off of a 6p - 2a shift after driving our third car to work. Why does the fact that I drove the 'third' car matter? 'Cause it is the car we park on the street.

Dumb move.

I had two 'lovely ladies' try to proposition me as I parked my car. I was just PARKING not angling for a blow job. (Or whatever the female equivalent would be.) But nooooo, the 'ladies' had to saunter over and make me wanna crawl outta my skin. Luckily (?) they both got picked up before I was ready to get out of the car.

Yeah, I felt real safe. Then again, I'm the dumbass who drove the car that needed to be parked on the street at 2am.

Note to self: next time drive the car that gets parked in the gated garage. Duh!

Baseball!

2007-05-22T20:54:00.000-05:00

Provided that my brudder-in-law is home this weekend, hubbie and I will be seeing the Boston Red Sox at the Ballpark at Arlington. As a member of the Red Sox Nation, this is a huge deal. I've so missed my boyz! Manny, Ortiz, Wakefield, Varitek.. They all make my heart go pitter patter. The new guys, who are becoming my boyz as I watch more and more baseball on my nifty cable package, (more on that later) aren't shabby either. Even if one of them is named after a breakfast cereal.

It's gonna be a good year for baseball. Check this out:

We've been to at least six, maybe more, Astros games so far this year. There have only been 23 home games. That's better than 1/4 of the games! If you knew how crazy my schedule was, you'd know how remarkable that is.
We're doing an east coast baseball vacation! Baltimore Orioles x 2, New York Yankees x1 (It's just for the stadium, people! Calm down already...) and Boston Red Sox at Fenway x 1.
We bought MLB Season ticket on cable, so we're watching insane amounts of 'ball on the boob tube. With this nifty package, we can watch every game being shown on a given night. (Unless the evil TV gods have decreed that There Shall be a Blackout. Stoopid MLB and TV execs. I hate them.) Every night at 6pm, when I'm home, I go trolling for Red Sox games. If the Sox aren't on, I'll wait a hour and then go looking for 'Stros games. If neither team is on, I go looking for CSI. (Mmmm... Grissom.) I mean, really, who wants to watch the Rockies when I could be looking at hot Las Vegas Action? Who?!?

Hubbie and I just figured out TONIGHT that we could actually make the Red Sox game in Dallas. We're so excited. I really hope his brother is gonna be home. If not, I might just have to pony up the money for a hotel room Saturday night before the game...

Local food

2007-05-13T14:36:00.000-05:00

I've been tagged by Karla over in Norway. This is a good thing, since I've been neglecting this blog o' mine. Bad doctawife, bad! (Side note: I found out last night that when hubbie refers to me at work, he almost alway says Dr. Wife. Not my name, or my other name (yeah, yeah I have to different given names, and only one of them is on my birth certificate, what's it to ya?) or even doctawife, but Dr. Wife. How weird/cool is that?)

So I'm supposed to list everyone whose done the meme, and then tag five people. Here's the problem, folks - I don't know five other bloggers. At least not five other bloggers who read my site. I think I top out at three. And two of those three have already done the meme. So I guess I'll just consider myself a dead end and hope the Gods of the Intarweb don't get me. But here are the previous posters:

Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
J (California, USA)
CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)
Shelli (Minnesota, USA)
Bluepaintred (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Avitable (Florida, USA)
Diana (Singapore, Singapore)
Karla the Texpatriate(Oslo, Norway)

With no further ado - My Favorite Five Local Eats!

1) The Roving Mexican. These noble souls are men and women who walk, bike and drive around to various Houston bars and sell drunk idiots like me tamales. For six US dollars, I can buy one dozen delicious, hot, fragrant meat tamales. That's enough to feed the table! And, usually, the Roving Mexican also throws in a little tub of spicy green sauce. Good eats, people, even when you're the designated driver and are therefore sober. (My apologies to any tamale people who aren't Mexican but are instead Guatemalan or Nicaraguan or Houstonian. The Roving Person-of-Hispanic-Descent-or-Just-Someone-Who-Makes-Really-Good-Tamales just doesn't sound as good.)

2) Benjy's. Good chi-chi nouvelle cuisine. Unfortunately, I haven't been there in many moons. I talked to someone who ate there last week and she said that the service wasn't very good and the food has slipped. I REALLY hope that's not the case, 'cause Benjy's has been my only source of reliable fancy goodness. There are other fancy restaurants in town, but they either cost a LOT more or the food isn't good enough to justify the price. (Which, by the way, is something I hate. If I'm paying $20 a plate, I want the food to be better than what I can make at home. This is a constantly moving target, since my cooking continues to improve, but we always knew I was a demanding bitch.)

3) Dolce Vita. The best damn pizza in Texas. Yeah, it's fancy-pants pizza, but it is darn good. The wine list doesn't suck either - a nice spread of prices and everything on the list is solid. Sure, the $30 bottle won't necessarily knock you speechless, but you won't feel gypped either. (Man, 'gypped' sure is a racial slur, ain't it? I hadn't really put that together until I just spelled it out. I guess that's the last time you'll see me type that word...)

4) Any Vietnamese restaurant near Milam between Francis and McGowen. Can we say pho? I sure can. This entry actually accounts for three restaurants. One is great at beef pho with egg noddles, one is great for bo luc lac (garlic beef sauted in butter - LOTS of butter) and one has awesome seafood egg noodle pho. Ya can't go wrong in this area... as long as it's Asian food yer wantin'. What can I tell ya - even the signs are in Vietnamese!

5) London Sizzler. This is NOT the place to go for great service or fast eats. The kitchen is sssllloooooowwwwww. Think slug. Or better yet, think glacial. Hubbie and I have joked that we wish we could call ahead with our order. That way our food might be ready twenty minutes after we arrived. But for good Indian food, the place can't be beat. The biryani is awesome, so is the butter chicken and the paneer. Hot yummy naan. Drool. But trust me folks, get an appetizer. Otherwise you'll go a little crazy while waiting. Trust me, it's happened. And it wasn't pretty.

WRROooooooowwww

2007-04-22T17:57:00.000-05:00

Houston Grand Prix 2007. The American Le Mans series. Cool, actually innovative cars going ripshit fast for two hours and forty five minutes. The race was preceded by hours and hours of ancillary activities - celebrity go kart racing (predictably enough, a Shuttle pilot won), driver signings (I got my hat signed by all four Audi drivers) and more junior racing series races. Hubbie and I went for all three days and got pit passes for the Champ car race today.

Now, let me tell you what my problem with Champ car races - one company makes
all of the engines. Likewise, one company makes all of the chassis. Where's the innovation? No incentive exists to push technology further in races like these. Bah, humbug.

Give me the ALMS! Each team has a different ride using different technology. And the technology makes a huge difference. Audi runs a twelve cylinder diesel. (Diesel! In a race car! How cool!) Mazda has run a rotary Wankel engine in the past. Acura (Honda) just entered the series this year - and unfortunately they beat the Audi team. My boys - Dindo Capello & Allan McNish - came in third. The second Audi team came in something like fifth.

Anyway, I loved the races. Fun fun fun! Some pictures below:

The Audi drivers. From back to front - Allan McNish, Dindo Capello, Emanuele Pirro & Macro Werner.
The diesel Audi (aka the TDI) and the Acura. The Acura eventually won. Bastards. The TDI is eerily quiet - like a whisper compared to everything else out there. It reminded me of a ghost... gliding by on a whispery cloud of air. So cool.

The Corvettes were the meanest sounding machines. Meaner than the Panoz, who took the cake last year. Last year's Panoz still sounded cooler than the 'Vette - deeper, angier, more thuddy.

Pit lane as set up for the Le Mans series. See, the gas caps were on the wrong side of the car for the Houston race. They're on the correct side of the car for 24 hours of Le Mans... just not Houston. (Houston's place on the racing pecking order is fairly clear - WAY below the 24 hour races.) So the teams have these long arms to refuel the cars. Pretty cool, huh? And a nifty picture.

6p - 2a

2007-04-19T02:49:00.000-05:00

I've worked a new shift today - the 6pm to 2am shift, aka the 'swing' shift. I think I have mixed feelings about this new entity in my life.

Pros:

Night nurses
Night charge nurses (Nell don't take no shit, baby!)
I'm the 'help' so I'm never alone, i.e. there is no part of the shift when there isn't at least one other doctor with me.
It's a really fast shift, mostly 'cause of bullet #3.
The shift runs during prime time - lots of actual pathology seems to show up in the evening. That's always fun. ;)

Cons:

Night nurses - those ladies don't do anything they don't want to. If they disagree with me? Guess what, my orders won't be carried out for hours...
6p - 2a pretty much means I don't get to see the husband all day. A HUGE bummer.
Getting home at 2a as a non-driver in Houston. Cabs are slow, and the shitty drivers work the graveyard shift. My cabbie tonight? Clueless. And he didn't have change. Sheesh.
Feeling like you're abandoning the overnight doc. 'Cause, guess what, you are. When the swing shift doc leaves, the overnight doc is all alone for the next 6 hours. And they are a painful six hours. Tonight I ended up staying a little late to prevent unloading a procedure onto the overnight guy. Granted, it was a minor procedure, but still... Overnights suck, and I don't wanna make his worse.

Mostly, I think con #2 is the most disturbing. I like my husband and I like seeing him. This shift doesn't allow that. So I guess the cons will win and I'll sigh every time I see an evening swing shift on the schedule... but at least the silver lining is decent.

Baseball's back any my boy is hitting!

2007-04-17T20:34:00.000-05:00

Hey now, hey now, my baseball's back!

Yeah, ya know I got the feeling!
Yeah, ya know my boys are stealing!

Hey now, hey now, my 'Stros are back!

I've mentioned before that I like baseball... just a few times in the past. (Really, I'm not repetitive or anything.) But it's true! This year's Astros will, yet again, keep us on our toes all season, I'm thinking. Yeah, our first couple of games (uh, make that series) sucked. We were swept in our season opener and didn't do much better in the next set against the Cards.

But then we went to Phillie, and hope dawned anew. Carlos Lee, the dude we spent WAY too much money on, slammed out three homers in one game. One of those homers was a grand slam. (Side note, I don't care who ya are, grand slams are cool. And they must suck so much for the pitcher 'cause they are so rare, but so damn devastating when they happen...) And my boy Morgan (MoMo! MoMoMoMoMoMoMoMoMo! I so have an old married lady crush on that man.) finally started hitting 'round about then.

After that, hubbie and I went to see our boys for their first home game since the sad sack season opening badness. We won. Not only did we win, our offense actually showed up. Lance still isn't hitting, but that'll just take time. The opposing team - the Marlins, if you must know - were still scared enough of Mr. Berkman to intentionally walk him. Take that!

Keeping the goodness coming, my very under-appreciated and very much loved Astros shortstop, Adam Everett, is getting some good press. ESPN's Crasnick recently wrote this article praising our resident defensive genius.

I think my 'Stros are going to keep repeating the pattern of the first two weeks of the year. One or two really bad series, then brilliance, the a return to suckitude. But I think the brilliance may just outweigh the suck enough to keep us into contention well into September.

Now sit back, relax, make some popcorn and watch me eat my words.

Hopefully we run away with the division... but we all know that's not what I mean.

PS - Dave of blogography.com actually reads my blog! How cool is that?

Work is... uh, work

2007-04-14T21:01:00.000-05:00

So that's why I haven't posted.

But in other news, I've had the most wicked case of gastro (i.e. stomach flu) recently.

So that's the other reason I haven't posted. 'Cause I like my MacBook Pro and dropping it in the toilet prolly wouldn't be good for it. Nope.

And in other news, I actually went out and saw some of the in-laws the other day.

That's not a reason I haven't posted, but it is news. Work with me, people!

Bullet blast!

2007-03-28T10:52:00.000-05:00

I'm shamelessly stealing this idea from Dave over at blogography.com. Bullets bullet points everywhere and all of them for YOU!

Bond. I love the latest 007. Dark, brooding, more than a little bleak, desperately holding out hope for a happy James until almost the very end... so luscious. And then there's Daniel Craig, eye-candy extraordinaire. I was good - really, I was! I didn't pre-order the DVD as I desperately wanted to do at $18 from DeepDiscountDVD. I waited. This was the correct move - after the release the price dipped down to $13. Now, of course, it's back up to over $18. So see? I was good.
Haircut heaven will happen today. I haven't had a 'spa' haircut in many, many moons. Today is the day. I'm seeing some chick at The Upper Hand who is apparently an expert in wavy hair. Have a mentioned the wave in my hair? The older I get, the more curl-like objects appear in my coiffure. What's up with that?
Work - I'm doing a lot of it. Somehow, some weeks I work incessantly, and some weeks I'm relatively idle. Last week? Idle. But not, since I was cleaning the abode for our annual blow-out party. This week? The first, of I hope many, weeks somewhere in the middle. Next week? Incessant work. The number of shifts this week and next week are the same, but next week I work way more night shifts do much more flopping from days to nights. I've decided that for the next batch of schedule requests (which won't happen until June!) I'll ask to bunch all of my night shifts. That way I'll only have to flop once.
The party. We did a theme party... and it actually worked. Probably because this was the third annual edition of the party and the second edition in our current homestead. I think people actually "got it" this year. Which was great. We have 50+ guests, tons of booze and more food than I had space to accommodate.
My husband's cat. He recently started be intermittently stinky. I mean really stinky. The Oh-My-God what the f#ck is that kind of stinky. He's more than ten years old, and he's never done this before. Hubby is just giving him baths, but I'm worried that something else is going on. Why the sudden change? He's always been a bit of a dirty/greasy cat... but never really a stinky one. I'm worried.
Out of towners. We're drowning in them this week. Our good friend flew in from Virginia for the party, tomorrow I'll see our friends living in Washington State, and this weekend my hubby's best friend is driving in from Austin. Why can't all of this bounty be spread over time? Argh.

Okay, that's the end of the bullet points. Hope you found that as entertaining as I did!

Tile Saw

2007-03-17T14:42:00.000-05:00

When tiling a bathroom with porcelain tile, for the love of Jeebus, don't try to cut the stuff with a classic score and snap rig. It won't go well.

How do I know this? 'Cause I've tried. When creating perfectly halved tiles, the scoring method works okay. If okay actually means poorly. The score and snap rig is about as dependable as a 1981 Chevette's build quality. Which is to say nearly non-existent. When trying to create narrow cuts? It's as good as Britney's ability to keep her legs together.

Yeah, not so much.

The solution? A tile saw. Now, even here, you have to be careful. Why? The cheap tile saws are only rated for ceramic tiles. Try them on porcelain tiles and I'm not sure what would happen. Grievous bodily harm would likely be involved. But fear not, young grasshopper! I have found the answer. And lo, here it is:

The QEP 60088. The cheapest thing we could find rated for porcelain. For once, cheap does not equal flimsy. This little baby has been cutting through the 1/4 inch think hard ass tile (approx 8 Mohs!) like buttah.

Buttah!

Don't be fooled by the similar appearing 60087, seen here:

60087 = grievous bodily harm.

Grievous bodily harm = bad.

Now, back to the land of home improvement... body intact.

Damn it!

2007-03-15T21:41:00.000-05:00

So I'd written up a clever, funny new post.

And then blogger.com ate it.

Stoopid blogger.

The problem is - I'm not feeling funny anymore. How can I be funny when the funny is gone? Should I make fun of my patients? ("docta, my child has right breast swelling... yes, docta, she's 11 years old... yes docta, she's had a recent growth spurt... yes docta, I remember how my breasts developed back in the day, and I remember my breasts (or soon to be breasts) were tender... but no docta, there's no way my child could have a similar experience... she's not old enough! Yes docta, I was the same age when it happened to me... ") Should I make fun of my husband? Eh no. Bad for marriage, bad for me. Make fun of friends? 'Cause I'm working so much (yay!), I haven't seen enough of them to make fun.

Well, I guess I'll just settle with being not funny. Lord knows, life is funny enough.

Hopefully I'll be able to pull some of that into my blog soon.

Extra Peace and chicken grease,
doctawife

The ceiling cat is watching...

2007-03-05T00:59:00.000-06:00

Go here. Trust me. Especially you, Clee.

Randomness

2007-03-01T10:49:00.000-06:00

So a friend took a poll, and I decided I needed to be a lemming and took the poll too. But hey, at least my song is cooler than hers...

Your Theme Song is Beautiful Day by U2

"Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away"

You see the beauty in life, especially in ordinary everyday moments.
And if you're feeling down, even that seems a little beautiful too.

What's Your Theme Song?

Meetings

2007-02-26T21:55:00.000-06:00

I never thought that I would be a fan of meetings. But there is one meeting I rather like - as a matter of fact, I HATE missing this meeting.

And I'll be missing it tomorrow.

The Section meeting is where rumors get started and eliminated. Policy is discussed and clarified. Nursing issues put to rest. The horse's mouth speaks. Life is much easier when I've been to the week's Section meeting.

But I miss it tomorrow. So I'll be a whole week saying, "Well, last week, nursing was supposed to do BLAH, but I missed the meeting so I don't know what the policy is..." And I hate that. If I'm told "We can't do that because it's policy" then I want to know if the nurse is blowing smoke out of his or her ass.

On another note, I love Battlestar Galactica. I've gotten through to season three. The two hour season opener is nummy. I highly recommend.

Aww yeah

2007-02-23T12:07:00.000-06:00

Something odd happened today. Something that hasn't happened for a damn long time. I looked at somethin' on a website that I've seen a million times before - somethin' that, until now, had been sad and lonely. Before today, what I'd been looking at had been small, like an unsatisfying New Cuisine meal. Ya know - a leaf of baby spinach, a sliver of Ahi tuna, a drop of wasabi.

But today, oh Glory, my leaf turned into a salad, the sliver into a steak and the drop into a chunk.

By Goodness, that somethin' was my (MY - not my husband's) bank account. I have MONEY. For the first time in a long ass time, I actually have some cha-cha-cha-change. Okay, it's not Jay-Z pimp money. But it's a damn sight better than the big fat zero I had before today.

'bout damn time. Thank the fates.

The Meme

2007-02-18T22:15:00.000-06:00

Yes, yes, yes... memes are evil, easy ways to fill up blog space. But I like them anyway.

So in that spirit - Six weird things about the doctawife!

1) Almost all of my favorite movies are based on comic books or heavily influenced by them. Examples: Sin City, Batman Begins, Kill Bill Vols 1 & 2, X-Men 2, The Shawsank Redemption, Resident Evil #1 (well, actually the commentary track, but that counts, damn it!) The exceptions: Children of Men.

2) Chipotle restaurant tried to kill me. For real. Dead. I'm not kidding.

3) I wear rude t-shirts underneath my scrubs when I work. Why? It makes me laugh. And yes, I work in a pediatric hospital.

4) I don't like chocolate, and by and large, I don't like sweets. I know this makes me a freak of nature, especially for a female, but there ya go. Give me a nice savory mushroom tart and I'll be much happier than if you gave me a gallon of fine chocolate mousse. Deal.

5) My cat is like an encopretic 5 year old. Look up encopresis to understand just how weird that is.

6) I have read 5+ books per week since I was 12. Unfortunately, the books have always been of the trashy romance or flimsy sci-fi/fantasy kind.

Now I'm supposed to tag 6 other bloggers. I'm not going to, mostly because I'm not sure that six people read this blog, and because of my six favorite blogs, at least two have already done this meme.

So I'm off tomorrow - the first day after three straight shifts. Which is great. I'm gonna sleeeeeeeeeep and then figure out something else to do, hopefully something with the husband. If any of my readers are bored tomorrow, try the Six Weird Things meme.

I miss baseball!

2007-02-15T22:51:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things that I ever wrote was my "Rules of Baseball Viewing." I reference those rules nearly every day - well mostly I reference rule #1. Rule #1 was "Sit the fuck down."

Rule #1 was created after a rather unique Fenway baseball experience. Sometime early in the 2003 season, Hubbie and I sprung for some wicked awesome seats at Fenway. (The section just behind home plate, but not where the really really rich people sit - just barely behind that.) We got there early, and a huge number of Fenway Faithful were seated around and behind us. No one really in front of us - those were the rich people seats.

The game started, and we were happy. We were at Fenway, the BoSox looked good, it was too early in the season for any of the players to be really hurt, Legal Seafood was selling chowda, and we had beer. Yay for us.

Until, midway through the inning, two women wandered in front of us. Since we were in the middle of the section, this was a feat. I mean, who goes to the center of a section and THEN decides to stop? Oh yeah... these two ladies! And not only did they wander in front of us and stop, they stopped to have a little conference - right there, blocking the view of home plate.

Needless to say, Hubbie and I were annoyed. 30 seconds passed. We hollered a relatively polite "down in front!" Not too loud, just enough to startle someone into action. It didn't work. Next came a more strident cry from the two of us. After all, they were blocking home plate. We couldn't see the pitches! And we'd paid $45 per seat, damn it! But alas, no response.

And then, the crowd behind us clearly gave up on the idea that these two women would buy a clue at Kmart. From behind us (with my own enthusiastic contribution) came a resounding, deafening, "DOWN IN FRONT!"

Next was the amazing part. The women turned around, seemed totally bewildered, and said, "But we're the cousins of the first baseman!" The instant thought of EVERYONE else in the crowd was, "If your cousin is the first baseman for the Boston Red Sox, you all should freaking know better than block the view from the good seats behind home plate, biznatches!"

And in the next instant, we all yelled, in unison, "DOWN IN FRONT!"

But at least for that season, we all loved Kevin Millar anyway. Despite his 'cousins.'

Two hours

2007-02-14T10:20:00.000-06:00

Well, last night was my first overnight shift since resuming work.

Whoo. Dude, I'm tired.

But as usual, it is taking me about two hours to wind down. The two hour wind down used to kind of piss me off - 'cause damn I'd be tired and WHY COULDN'T I SLEEP and why was my mind still running at 8 million RPM and oh geeze was that last kid going to do okay... But recently I started talking to the other ER docs - both those that specialized in pedi EM (aka the 'sub-boards'- remember the term kids 'cause I ain't gonna bother explaining that for much longer!) and other generalists, like me - and most of them need two hours after a shift to cool off. I figure if docs who've working in the ER for 20+ years still need wind down time, I should just get used to my own need to sit and process for a while.

I liked the shift, until 2am rolled around and I lost the company of other attendings. Yeah, yeah, yeah I got help in 'moving the meat' in the form of a fellow (who ruled!) and then a resident, but especially with the resident, it just wasn't the same. I lost that sense of, well, fellowship present between equals slogging through the trenches of the late night ER. The resident just wanted the shift to be over and the nurses all wanted something from me. When there are other attendings there, we throw around ideas and treatment options and personality management strategies and joke... but with nurses, I'm one of 'them' and therefore am not included in the banter. With the residents, well, they pretty much have to do what I tell them to do, which seriously cuts down on the room for small talk. So I kinda got lonely from 2am to 8am.

And six hours is a long time to slog along on my own. Unfortunately, I have a LOT of overnights next month. Then again, I can't much complain because for Pete's sake, at least I'm working! So maybe I'll be able to make the night nurses my buds, and life will get better.

Yup, that's the plan, Stan!

Funny, the things ya remember

2007-02-12T00:38:00.000-06:00

I remember there was a blog... and sometimes it was funny. But sometimes it gave too much away.

And now it's gone.

So please excuse the broken link. I'm waiting on the why and the wherefore... and the where if.

If the 'where if' ends up someplace public, I'll fix the link. If not - well, ya'll will never know that it was there. MUAWHAHAHAHA!

First solo shift

2007-02-08T20:04:00.000-06:00

Well, this morning I had my first solo shift. Let me explain - a solo shift is some fraction of an eight hour period in the ER without another doc to help out. Today I had four hours, half of my shift, flying solo. Luckily for me, I had an awesome family practice (aka FP) resident helping me out. Now the educated among you might ask, "Doctawife - you said you were solo. But you had a resident helping - that's another doc!" Well, residents only sorta count. They can see patients, so I can see another patient or write in the chart or call a specialist or whatever... but in the end, I'm ultimately responsible for the patient the resident sees. The buck stops with me, and sometimes, it's a pretty sick buck. And residents are not just in the ER to 'move the meat.' They are there to learn. Which means I have to take the time to teach. And that doesn't help move the meat. That actually slows the meat down.

Now mind, only other well trained pediatricians will understand how remarkable the sentence about "awesome family practice resident" is. Pediatricians generally don't like FPs. Why? As a group, pediatricians think that FPs don't get enough training in pediatrics. Which means they make mistakes. Most of them aren't bad, and don't hurt kiddos. But sometimes, oh sometimes, the mistakes are bad. And for whatever reason, many of the FPs that come through the ER are really terrible. In terms of pediatric knowledge, they're worse than med students, even.

Not this one. She rocked. I taught her about basic pedi stuff, and when the kiddo with the kidney stones came in, she reminded me about those. ('Cause usually 11 year olds don't get kidney stones. I hadn't seen one since med school. The FP resident had seen one the month before in adult-land. It ruled.) And even with the basic pedi stuff, I was more reminding her of common pitfalls than teaching her new material.

Oh, and I told her of common FP mistakes, and why I would beat her with a stick if she ever did any of them. Why the beating? 'Cause she's smart and has no business making any of them.

But yeah, solo was challenging. At one point I was taking care of ten patients. That's a lot.

It felt good.

Work! WORK. WORK work WORK workie WORK!

2007-02-07T02:44:00.000-06:00

So yeah, I'm excited about being back at work.

I know, I know, too many exclamation points in one post, but I don't care.

I've worked two 8pm - 12 am shifts and I loved them both. Each shift inspired a different kind of love. The first one (Monday) was slower and a little more laid back. My coworker was the dude (and he is a dude - he's six years older than I am and he still wears his ultra preppy coral necklace) who had clearly established himself as one of my bosses earlier this month; but he was so laid back that, DUDE, what was I worried about? Like, that patient, he could TOTALLY be admitted to the hospital and that would be, like, fine. And I COMPLETELY didn't need to worry about relearning the administrative stuff because I TOTALLY knew who to ask... the nurses, right? 'Cause they TOTALLY have time to educate me... But a medically sketchy idea never made it any further than a TOTALLY casual conversation, 'cause he would just drop the LEARNIN' on me and the patient just got better. Word. Everything flowed, but everything was good for the PEEPS. Pretty dope, huh?

Except when it's totally crazy and the whole ER is on divert and I'm transferring my sickest patient and my other sick patient needs tons of attention from both me and my nurse and holy sh*t the current average wait is six hours and we have 140 patients in the ER and it was only designed for 80 and my senior doc is losing it but it isn't without cause because WHY THE F*CK don't we have suture trays and LP kits on hand and isn't that patient trying just a little too hard to die and WHY did she let her daughter have daily fevers to 104 Fahrenheit for two weeks and why is she AMAZED that her kid is super sick when I'm startled that the kiddo isn't SICKER than she is...

Last night was paragraph number one and tonight was paragraph number two. Day #1 was all about learning and day #2 was all about doing. Both days were fun. I had sicker patients day #2, but that was okay. I'd had some help the day before, so I knew what to do. I'm glad my first day wasn't the day the ER exploded and went on divert. But I'm glad that when things went nuts, I had an awesome, experienced staffer with me to help out.

But it was kinda crazy. And that's why is 3am and I'm not in bed yet. I'm still winding down, and I don't have to work tomorrow. Tonight (this morning? My body really isn't sure.) I'll go to bed and sleep like a baby. It will just take me some time to get to bed.

And then I'll be fine. 'Cause I love my job.

Theft is good

2007-02-04T14:38:00.000-06:00

This act of thievery is being perpetrated against the Ween. Enjoy.

Me:

Not me:Me:
Not me:

Me:Not me:

Me:Not me:

Me:
Not me:

Down with the negative!

2007-01-29T23:43:00.000-06:00

The license... IT IS HERE! Here in my sweaty little hands, quivering with its own suppressed fury, beautiful in its supreme unimpressiveness lies the panacea to all my ills. Or at least that's the theory.

So, starting today, I get to throw myself back in the mix. I spent most of today filling out so many forms that I swear I thought my eyes were going to bleed. Frankly, dear reader, I didn't give a flying pootenany. I was at work! And by and large, people were happy to see me.

Meanwhile, the Texas State Medical Board has been attracting negative attention from the press and the healthcare bigwigs about the delays in licensure. Go journalism! Go activitism! Go greedy capitalism! 'Cause really, that's why people are getting so pissed off. The docs can't get paid 'cause they can't practice, the hospitals and clinics are losing money because the docs aren't seeing patients but can't hire someone else because the doc either has 1) a binding contract with the employer or 2) a specific skill set not already available. Texas has one of the lowest per capita densities of doctors, yet we have this HUGE backlog of docs waiting to work in Texas.

Does this make sense?

Oh yeah, this is Texas. I forgot.

There is no point

2007-01-25T14:50:00.000-06:00

Every time I try to get my life fixed, someone gets in the way. At least I'm not alone - go here to find out part of why I'm so screwed.

Another part of why I'm so screwed is my case manager, who seems to be not so good at her job. Given what the article says, that may not be her fault, but at this point I'm not sure I care.

I just saw something horrible.

2007-01-22T14:20:00.000-06:00

I'm watching a show about the 9/11 ground zero clean up. And they just showed a pathology slide of a man who died after participating in the original clean up. It was a high resolution microscopic slide of a lung section. (Why do I call it a lung section? Well, when someone dies in a weird/suspicious way, pathology experts take every organ and make small slices from each of them. Those small slices are called sections.) The slides showed a lung section with almost no air/aveolar interaction, a huge proliferation of mesothelial cells, and pretty much nowhere for gas exchange to occur (yeah, I know, the sentace was redundant... but hey, sometimes redundancy helps get the point across.) To anyone who listened during his or hers pathology lectures, the slides shown are horrifying. How can anyone breathe without the natural mesothelial/endothelial interchange? Yeah, that was my answer too. So the slide clearly showed that something impacted lung structure and physiology in a hugely negative way. Which basically meant that the poor guy couldn't breathe. At all. And the problem was caused by a chemical or particle foreign body.

Reportedly this poor man never smoked. Reportedly he never inspected a building that contained high levels of asbestos. So the absence of normal lung structure is logically explained by... yeah, that's right, Ground Zero.

Why did this man die without any help for his family? That's shameful. These men were heroes. I hope we can somehow elect more responsible people who will spend taxpayer money to help these people. I know for certain that I'd pay that extra tax.

Wouldn't you?

Waah!

2007-01-16T16:06:00.000-06:00

Our spiffy new plasma TV arrived today - CRACKED! The driver had just left the complex when we unboxed the big beautiful BROKEN beasty.

We're both ready to cry. Hopefully the return process won't be too painful. Although how you return something that weighs ~80 lbs. I don't know.

Waah!

Go Pats!

2007-01-14T19:21:00.000-06:00

Oh my goodness, I never thought that game would end. My Boys played so sloppy that for a while there I was thinking, "Damn, we don't deserve to win!" Luckily, the team started to look like themselves in the fourth quarter and pulled through to save the day.

At the two minute warning, I asked Hubbie if he wanted a third beer for the end of the game... His answer was so emphatic that I was startled for a second. Then again, I was so nervous that the fabric underneath my butt was actually wet from sweat.

Eww. Yeah, I know, I'm a loser.

I'll admit that the Chargers looked pretty darn good. Even tho I'm a die-hard Pats fan, I thought we were screwed. I'm kinda sad for them, honestly. Especially Tomlinson. He looked upset when he walked off the field. Yikes. If the Chargers could have continued to play through the fourth quarter like they did during the previous three... Well, this post would be very different.

Begone, ye Evil Spirits

2007-01-11T15:05:00.000-06:00

So I didn't have a great year in 2006. So I thought, in the name of making the new year start off to a good start, I thought I would list things that I really like. Here goes:

1) Netflix. This wonderful service allows me to watch the first season of MacGyver without annoying my husband or actually buying the discs. Which is just cool. I mean, I love my husband, therefore I won't force him to sit through the first season of MacGyver. What could be more loving that that?

2) My pressure cooker. It's a Fagor, which is one step down from the best brand. Kuhn-Rikon is the best, but hey, have you seen the price tags on these things? Good God! But 15 psi of pressure goes make a lot of difference in cook time for things like stock, bolognese sauce and soups. In the last twenty-four hours, I have made pasta sauce and two batches of chicken stock. Yay me! But more importantly, yay my pressure cooker.

3) Lego Star Wars II. So fun, so simple, so good.

Well, I guess it can't be that simple, since I haven't won it yet. Yargh.

4) My friend Mehul. He's gonna hook us up with a sweet amplifier for a discount. Hubbie figures that with an awesome TV, we should have an awesome amp. We don't have an awesome amp... hence, Mehul!

5) My hubbie. Aww.

Well, enough for now. I've got a birthday party to attend!

Back from STL

2007-01-08T23:15:00.000-06:00

So I'm back in Houston... and as I was flying into town, I realized that I don't much like Houston.

Oops.

But I'm stuck here for a while yet, so I just have to suck it up.

On the plus side, Chris is going to buy a HDMI card to make our new fancy TV even MORE better. Or maybe an amp... we haven't decided.

Then again, there's this Denon receiver that's just the coolest thing. So I think we're going to get the HDMI card and save up for the receiver. Have I mentioned that I'm excited about this TV? Plasma! HDTV! Flat! Huge!

So awesome.

(But I'd still rather have my Mommy. I miss my Mommy.)

The good and the bad

2007-01-07T19:01:00.000-06:00

The good - Mom bought us a new 50" plasma TV, which rocks.

The bad - she walked in on my shower today.

I think I'd rather have a sane mother that didn't walk in on me than a TV.

But I'm enough of a money whore that I'll take what I can get. Ya know...

Change is good

2007-01-02T23:14:00.000-06:00

Welcome to the New Year. To celebrate the fact that I'm still alive and still posting, I decided to change up the blog a little bit.

Well, actually, Karla had the idea first. So yet again, I thieve. (Kinda like I pinch, but not as funny.)

So that's it, folks. Talk to ya later!

Another two-a-day

2007-01-01T17:02:00.000-06:00

Well, hubbie said the last post was good. But for some reason, I feel the need to post again. Why? 'Cause I came across a good meme. So I have to do it, 'cause otherwise the time will have passed. Which would be a shame.

1.What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?

Went to Sonoma Valley with my husband and mother. One day on the trip we got a driver/guide, which was a very good day. We got to tour some very small, obscure wineries... that had some very excellent wine. Yummy yummy.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

This one is easy - I don't make resolutions. I occasionally set goals, but even those usually refer to the next several months instead of the next year. This year, my goal is to go to the gym three or four times a week consistently for the next month. Hopefully, at the end of the month, I'll be able to set the goal of gym attedence at five times a week for at least a month.

Hubbie and I would like to be skinny again, so gym attendence is necessary. But resolutions are too much pressure. So we'll leave it at goals.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

My favorite kiddos were born more than a year ago, but I really like Brenda and Kevin's baby. Alyssa does this thing with her hands that is just the cutest. I can't describe the motion in words, you'll just have to ask for a demonstration whenever you see me.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Thankfully no. I've had enough of that.

5. What countries did you visit?

The most notable was Guatemala. I'd never been someplace that poor before. I'd been to Hong Kong previously, but most of those folks could read. Not so much in Guatemala. And the folks in Hong Kong had seen different looking people before - different skin color, different language, that kind of thing. The folks in Zacapa would pay to see a doctor (not an insignificant fee, although really cheap by our standards) just to come oogle my red hair. Slightly creepy, but it made me feel bad. Come to think of it, I should've given those kids their money back. I just didn't think of it at the time. Darn.

6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

My job.

7. What date(s) from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

December 12th and 20th 2006. Both days of really bad news. January 21, 2006 - the first Hosuton Meat and Martini party. Red meat and dry martinis. Aww yeah...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Graduating from residency.

9. What was your biggest failure?

Yikes. Not getting my license. Changing the subject...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

No. Fairly suprising, but not. How nice!

11. What was the best thing you bought?

My Zoloft. As my friend Tommy would say, "The big Z keeps me sane." I couldn't do without it, and I don't want to do without it. Yay for health insurance!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?

My hubbie. He's the greatest. I don't know why he sticks around, but I'm really grateful that he does.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

The Chimp in Chief. He's so dumb that I can't even find words. Every time he comes on TV I have to turn away because listening to him talk makes my skin crawl. Yuck yuck yuck.

14. Where did most of your money go?

To my debt. Like it always does.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

The Astros. I really thought they would pull out a late season miracle. They didn't, but it was a good ride.

16. What song will always remind you of 2006?

Blue October, Hate Me

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder?

Sadder

thinner or fatter?

Thinner. Thanks to the gym. Yay Fit!

richer or poorer?

Poorer. See the bit about licensing.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?

Working.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Drinking.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?

We spent Christmas with my Aunt. It was cool - I got boots and formal wear and books. How cool is that?

21. Who deleted question 21?

Jesus?

22. Did you fall in love in 2006?

No. I was already in love. But that love continued, which was awesome.

23. How many one-night stands?

Zero.

24. What was your favourite TV programme?

Dirty Jobs. I love Mike Rowe. I don't know why, I just do.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

The TSMBE.

26. What was the best book you read?

Seeing as I read five books a week, this is a hard question. Sorry folks, no answer is forthcoming.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?

The Spankers. They're very silly, and very funny. And they have banjo and clarinet. How can I not like them?

28. What did you want and get?

I got a Mario Batali pot. It's awesome, it's orange and it's mine. I'm rockin' on with my bad self.

29. What did you want and not get?

My license.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?

Casino Royale. Lordly, I love Bond. Yummy yummy yummy.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Folks threw a regress-to-childhood party celebrating my big 3-0. I had a sippy cup. I drank wine from my sippy cup... and discovered sippy cups are great alcohol pacers, since they don't let you drink fast. So that was good. Frustrating, but good.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Yet again, a job.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

Bohemian. I decided to be funky, and I was. Yipee!

34. What kept you sane?

My husband. He's too cool for school.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

Daniel Craig. Bond is so good. I drool just thinking about 007.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?

Iraq. We were dumb to invade, but dumber to stay. What the hell are we doing, anyway? And the possibility of a draft? Are you fucking kidding me? The Selective Service testing their methods? At least the country isn't going to blame the soldiers this time - we've finally learned that the gubment is at fault, not the poor sods who just wanted to go to college or get out of the hood.

37. Who did you miss?

My dad. Still.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Mike. 'Cause at least for the moment, he makes the Ween happy.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.

The egg comes before the chicken. Don't pay for the chicken when you don't have the egg.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

From Unwritten Law, Save Me

And I'm sick of my sickness

Don't touch me, you'll get this.

I'm useless, lazy, perverted,

And you hate me.



You can't save me,

You can't change me,

Well I'm waiting for my wake-up call,

And everything, everything's my fault.

Pahr-tay

2007-01-01T12:55:00.000-06:00

Last night hubbie and I made a full, formal, sit-down dinner for 22 people. The menu was as follows:

First course / pre-dinner munchies

goat cheese marinated with olive oil, basil and red pepper flakes
tallegio
brie
homemade bread

Main course

filet mignon
roasted chicken
lamb chops marinated with rosemary and thyme
green beans with carmelized onions
roasted potatoes with garlic, dill and chives
spinach salad with warm red onion, olive oil and garlic dressing

Dessert

turtle cheesecake (made by my otherwise very manly friend, Rob)

It was amazing. People seemed to really like the food. Hubbie and I did enough prep work before the guests arrived that when they did, we could largely sit back and enjoy ourselves. We made the decision that we would have everyone sit down and we would serve them, instead of letting people choose their portions themselves.

This was a good plan.

Since we hadn't ever cooked for so many people before, we underestimated the amount of food needed. So portioning was very very important. Even with careful portioning, we still pretty much ran out of food. No seconds on most things; if hubbie hadn't had the idea to make four roast chickens 'just in case' we would have been sunk. Note to self: seven pounds of potatoes, two pounds of green beans with about a pound of onion, six pounds of filet mignon (more on that later), one pound of lamb and three chickens just barely feed 22 people. Yikes. Only the last chicken remained standing, as it were.

Back to the filet - we could afford that hunka hunka burning meat because of how and where we bought it. The cut we actually bought was the PSMO, which, according to the USDA, is defined as:

PSMO ("Pismo") - A beef tenderloin from which practically all surface fat has been removed and the side muscle (psoas minor) has been left attached.

The PSMO comes in a large vaccusealed container and can't be bought at the supermarket. To get one, ya gotta go to Costco. It looks much more like something that actually came from a cow than almost anything foud in a grocery store. There are actually rib notches on one side. Once out of its hermetically sealed wrapping, I had to butcher it myself. This poses a problem because, well, I'm not actually a butcher. Luckily, Alton Brown and his show Good Eats rode to my rescue. He did a show called Tender is the Loin and he broke down a PSMO - so I had a general idea what I was doing. After about a half hour of work, I had a nicely butchered loin. The whole reason I could afford to make filet was because I was willing to put in that half hour of work.

Holy crap, it was worth it! Yummy yummy yummy. And I just felt classy serving filet mignon to our guests.

There's something vaguely masturbatory about cooking for others. I do enjoy cooking for its own sake. Hubbie looked over once yesterday as I was wrist deep in raw chicken carcasses (more on that later), olive oil and lemons and grinned. When I asked why, he said, "Because you're having fun. If you know anything by now, you should know that I like watching you having fun, no matter what the cause." But even beyond that, I really like making something that others appreciate. It makes me feel good. But then I feel kinda bad because part of why I cook is to get praise, which seems like cheating. Or something. I'm not supposed to walk up to my friends and say, "Hey, compliment me!" I frequently feel like that is exactly what I'm doing when I cook for anyone other than my husband. On the flip side, one of my goals in life is to be half of 'that couple'. You probably know a couple like the one I mean - when you get the invite to come over for dinner, one of the initial reactions is 'hell yeah, the food's always so good.' I want that reaction. But when the praise comes in, I get embarrassed and feel vaguely guilty. Yeah, I know, I'm conflicted.

Anyway, about the chickens. Like the rest of the meat, we bought them at Costco. They were sold in two-packs labeled 'Young Chicken.' The remarkable thing about these chickens was the sheer quantity of innards that came with each chicken. Usually whole chickens come with the liver and the neck, right? These came with the heart, liver, lung, thymus, kidneys, spleen, neck... pretty much everything except the head, brain, feet and feathers. Anyone have any good recipes for organ meat? Bueller? Bueller?

Overall, the party was a success. I went to bed at about 2am, and hubbie finally found his bed at about 5am. Yeah, I know, the hostess shouldn't go to bed before everyone leaves. But by that time, the only people left were hardcore drinkers and friends. They didn't give a rat's ass. The night wasn't completely free of drama, however. One of my friend's cars got towed. In Boston, I could have relied on the SIGNS to tell me when towing would be enforced. Here in Houston, no such luck. So now she owes us the $200 she used to get her car out of hock. Oh well.

Happy New Year, everyone. Stay safe, stay as sane as necessary and have fun. Love well and often, but use condoms during sex. Vaccinate your children. Be a good person.

May 2007 be better than 2006.

Xmas

2006-12-26T22:25:00.000-06:00

Well, I went to Memphis for Christmas. Hubbie, my aunt Mary, her husband Scott and my mother all trekked around to various and sundry church services, dinners and shin digs all weekend long. Some of the times were good, and some not so much.

But mostly I lived in fear of my mother. Would she bust out with her hover-y, nacroleptic self or would her born-and-bred Southern woman instincts kick in and produce a charming, entertaining storyteller? Who knew? Who could predict? No one - not even the woman in question.

Mostly, the Southerner in Mom won out. Which was great - she approximates the woman she was when she's in company playing 'charming visiting relative.' Unfortunately, the times and spaces when Mom was just with me, or with her sister, the crazy person I don't really recognize came out to play. It was sad and I hated it - I swear she used to be something like normal. I swear she used to be smart.

But based on those between-the-company interludes, I wouldn't be able to produce any evidence to support my claim. Anyway, even when I hate the way she acts, I still love her. She's my mother, how could I not?

So with all my conflicted feelings, I was really happy when she left today for the airport. Finally, I could relax. Aunt Mary and I had a good, long-time-coming talk... and then she bought me boots. Really really fabulous boots. What could have been better? What could go wrong?

Oh honey, I really shouldn't ask questions like that.

Even though my husband and my new uncle took my mother to the security line, even though they cagoled a very nice traveler to ensure my mother got to the right concourse, even though my mother has flown umteen bigillion times, she missed her plane.

She. Missed. Her. Plane.

The burden was returning. The sigh of relief was completely premature. And because her world had been thrown out of wack, she would be totally nutty when she got back... or so we thought. Thank goodness - thank goodness - we had company over when my uncle hauled her back from the airport. And thank goodness - thank goodness - the Southern manners born and bred into her came raging to the forefront.

Rob, you saved the night. My husband and I are in your debt. Mary and Scott, you saved Mom's travel. Thank you for that. Hubbie, you helped spread the pain. If I had been alone, I would have been sunk. Thank you.

And Mom - wherever the real you is - I wish you well. I just kinda wish you away from here.

Two a day

2006-12-18T15:15:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'm not about to disrespect midwives. But I do want to comment on the midwife trainee on the 3pm (CST) House of Babies episode on Discovery Health today. Why? She's going through 'hell week' in midwifery school. Bascially, 'hell week' is the same as residency (the paid trainee stage of a MD's life) for midwife students.

But it only lasts three weeks. Total.

One week the first time through and two weeks the next.

WTF? Residency is at least three years, and this woman, who will be taking care of newborns and moms, is complaining about three weeks? Suck it up when you're on national TV! I know doing anything nonstop for four weeks can be hard, but if all anyone has to do is three (not even four) weeks, just deal.

Sorry. I know I'll piss off a lot of midlevel providers with this post, but damn, perspective, people! I have a lot of appreciation for experienced midwives, but now I'm not so sure about new grads.

Unless, of course, they didn't complain. If that's the case - more power to ya.

Blah blah blah

2006-12-18T11:15:00.000-06:00

We went to Fogo de Chao last night. And it was good. We only ate for 90 minutes, but we consumed gi-normous amounts of meat. Oddly enough, two of the cuts of meat were WAY better than the rest. The Fraldinha was the best. And the sirloin was great. But the lamb was a little dry, and the filet mignon (spelling? I can't spell, let alone in French) wasn't as juicy as it could have been. And the salt - holy crap, I thought my feet were gonna swell outta my very cute holiday heels.

I've aways thought that the whole idea of going to a restaurant was to eat things I couldn't cook myself. Unfortunately, Fogo didn't quite live up to that standard. We've decided that Fogo is great for a group of 6+, but we're never going there just as a couple. The reason Fogo works for a group is that no matter what ya get, the price per plate is fixed. And if everyone is drinking more or less on the same pace, splitting the bill just works our perfectly fairly. So the food + drink + easy math works out well for larger groups.

But for my husband and I? We could cook a huge, yummy filet with two bottles of good California wine for the cost of a meal at Fogo. So no go.

I guess I'm conflicted about Fogo, but that's okay. I never said I was decisive... hehe!

Okay, it's been a week

2006-12-12T16:53:00.000-06:00

Today was supposed to mark my return to doing my job - the job I've trained for since I was in high school. But no - the Texas State Medical Board is punishing me. I can't even tell you, dear reader, how much this hurts.

I just want to crawl under a rock and... I dunno. I don't want to die. But I do want all of this to go away. I want to do my job again. I don't want to be a burden anymore.

Is that too much?

Productive!

2006-12-05T15:34:00.000-06:00

Today I've managed to:

1) Finish my orientation to my new work, which means AS SOON AS my license comes through I can work.
2) Go to the dentist, get a cavity filled and get my teeth cleaned WITHOUT ANESTHESIA.
3) Cleaned my fishtank.

I have to say, the last of the three is the one that has required the most effort. Mostly 'cause I've been ignoring my tanks for the last four weeks or so. Why? 'Cause I was depressed as hell. But now? Now I should be golden. The glass is nearly spotletss, the plants and rocks are rearranged, and the fish are swimming around with all their fins out.

Life is good. And hopefully, I'll have my real job back by the end of next week.

Please please please - I want to be a doctor again.

Let is be so.

Ow!

2006-12-01T17:15:00.004-06:00

Why do I get such vicious headaches these days? Is it 'cause I'm over 30?

Youch.

Anyone got morphine?

Yargh

2006-11-22T16:05:00.000-06:00

The best thing about Thanksgiving is the gathering of family and friends without the pressure of religion or presents. Perfect holiday for a poor atheist, eh?

But the worst thing about Thanksgiving is the cleaning. At least, when the Thanksgiving is at my own house. Yesterday was fun - cooking, baking.... basically goofing off in the kitchen. One of my favorite passtimes. Today, however, has been mostly cleaning. I even ironed! (Gasp!) I decided to start at the east end of the townhouse and work my way westward. So far, the kitchen (except the sink) and dining area look pretty good. You can even see the top of the dining room table. Anyone who knows me knows that a clear dining room table is a feat of monumental proportions.

Now I'm on to the coffee table. EEK!

Theft! I like it!

2006-11-21T21:45:00.000-06:00

Stealing a MEME. Again, from Karla, who stole it from someone else, who stole it from someone else, etc. etc...

Yourself: silly
Your partner: five feet away, also computing
Your hair: strawberry blonde slowly edging towards brown
Your Mother: progressively more senile
Your Father: dead, damn it!
Your Favorite Item: prolly my MacBook Pro
Your dream last night: don't remember, the night before last was about derranged kittens and 9/11. Yargh.
Your Favorite Drink: Grey Goose vodka martini with a twist
Your Dream Car: currently the Astin Martin DB S
Your Dream Home: the Dwell home or some other such modern design prefab architecture
The Room You Are In: what do you mean what room? The second floor of our townhouse only has one room!
Your Ex: was more than 12 years ago - who cares?
Your fear: falling, seriously
Where you Want to be in Ten Years? a pedi EM doc with a house and a kid
Who you hung out with last night: husband and two kitties - one who is usually not pukey but currently throwing up what looks to be a cockroach... ew!
What You're Not: licensed
Muffins: blueberry
One of Your Wish List Items: my license
The Last Thing You Did: lounge
What You Are Wearing: a sweater! In Texas!
Your favorite weather: winter - specifically snowy winter.
Your Favorite Book: Magic's Price by Mercedes Lackey
Last thing you ate: Bo Luc Lac
Your Life: not where it should be
Your mood: quitely furious
Your Best Friends: coming in tomorrow!
What are you thinking about right now: perhaps going to bed early
Your car: needs repair
What are you doing at the moment: uhh... typing?
Your summer: freaking HOT
Relationship status: loving
What is on your TV: DVR or the Discovery Channel
What is the weather like: cool, thank the fates
When is the last time you laughed: dinner

Yay! A MEME for me!

Turkey Day!

2006-11-21T21:16:00.000-06:00

For the first time, we're having Thanksgiving at our house. (Okay, okay, we had a Thanksgiving in our apartment in Boston, but that was an apartment, not our HOME.) Which means, for the first time, I can actually do some prep work with my stuff in my space. How cool!

So today I kinda went apeshit with the prep. Here's the list:

2 pies (sweet potato, not pumpkin, alas)
one bread starter
four pints of veggie stock
four pints of chicken stock
and a huge ass grocery run

Not to mention tiling a half of the north bathroom wall. Oh yeah, and halfway through my pressure cooker broke so I had to go get a replacement. Yargh. But that wasn't all bad, 'cause my first pressure cooker was a lesson in why product research is good. Ya see, I bought a model of pressure cooker that can only create an internal pressure of 12 psi. The international standard for pressure cookers, and thus all pressure cooker recipes, is an internal pressure of 15 psi. That was a little factoid I had not grasped before making my purchase. Oops.

I'm sure you can understand the problem.

But now that the under-researched pressure cooker has kicked it, I had an excuse to replace it with the real deal. Yay!

And tomorrow? Bread baking!

Almost thirty

2006-11-20T15:47:00.000-06:00

I haven't been posting much 'cause I haven't much to write about. I'm still wicked underemployed, incredibly frustrated with TSMB and depressed as hell. And really, who wants to read me whining? Is not so good.

On the super upside, my best friend (AF) is flying in two days. And I saw the new Bond. (Side note - the Dossier option on the previous site is quite cool. Especially the psych profile. Hehe.) New Bond, new Bond - YAY! Ahhhh... How I love the Bond. I even like the new actor playing Bond - Daniel Craig - is so incredibly hot as 007. He gets this little quirky pout whenever something pleases or amuses him. I don't care that he's blond. His huge baby blues make up for it. (I have a thing for men with intense blue eyes, just like my wonderful Mr. Man.) Check out all the different Bond sites - each is very cool.

And AF is coming to town. We're gonna make a turkey and sweet potato pie and something veggie - our neighbor Lance is coming over, and he doesn't eat meat. I know, he's crazy - cow is GOOD. We'll have to find some movie to see after we stuff ourselves with tryptophan, 'cause it is the tradition in her family. Then again, we may just put in a DVD and pass out on the couch.

Oh yeah, and did I mention I turn 30 on Sunday. Yargh.

Camping!

2006-11-05T22:58:00.000-06:00

I finally talked the husband into going camping. We went down to New Braunfels, TX for Wurstfest, stayed at a campground on the Guadelupe River, and drank copious amounts of beer.

All of which are good things. But the best thing was definitely our tent. Why, you might ask? 'Cause a) it was free, b) it was freaking huge c) we were actually able to put the damn thing up in the dark. It has these huge, nearly 1.5" diameter poles - they're heavy as all hell. And there weren't any drawings or directions or anything - just two drunk (and possibly high, knowing them) guys, my tired husband and myself. But we did it! The thing went up, didn't fall over, and kept us sheltered for the night.

Of course, the other fly in the ointment was the fact that the stupid thing doesn't have a rain fly. And, of course, the next day we all started feeling raindrops.

Oops.

Luckily for us, it was a false alarm and nothing more drenching than a drizzle. But we would have been in major trouble if the rain had actually come.

On another note, we pretty much had the campsite to ourselves. We reserved three spots - which amounted to the square footage of a freaking postal stamp - but ended up using seven. Hee! We pretty much had our own little tent city. Everyone else's tent was nicer than ours, but ours was the tallest, so that's something.

I also met the oddest human ever. I can't decide if Billdo (yes, that's a reference to dildos) is the greatest waste of carbon on the face of the planet or simply a marginally likable, no more intelligent than he needs to be guy... but not quite as much of a waste as I initially thought. The first night Billdo was the biggest cockbiter I had ever met, but the second night he slowed down into a mostly-normal human. I can't decide which Bill is the real one.

But anyway, hubbie and I are going to buy a tent (with a rainfly, thank-you-very-much) and try this camping thing again sometime soon. Yup.